BECAUSE My President walks the talk, he made sure that immediately after announcing the Ministry of Religious Punching, members of the host church get the very first blessing, or should I say the very fist blessing.

AQUELLOS que nunca han visitado México pensarán Antonio es estúpida.

I DON’T think short people are naturally funny, but Dr Phiri wouldn’t have been this interesting if he was an inch taller.

THIS was the biggest damn rally my President has ever organised; attended by thousands and followed by millions on television.

SOMEONE should tell me when the People’s Party president finally announces which candidate he will vote for next year, maybe then I will be willing to listen to him, because right now he is not making sense to me.

MOSHO! Analume ngao ngao. I think Mr George Chisanga, you must consider building a statue for serious lawyers like this genius at the LAZ secretariat.

MAGISTRATE Kunda Tantameni, please tell me just one thing and I won’t share it with anybody; why did you go ahead to convict Tebby Chilekwa when everybody knew that the man pleaded guilty to a wrong offence?

I WOULD have said ZNBC has gone to the dogs, but last time I used that expression, my neighbour's dog almost circumcised me in protest.

OH no, my president, this is going to cause us a huge problem and we better get our first lady out of the bush quickly before Honourable Christopher Mvunga locates her.