When you are invited to a friend’s wedding and you have never met the bride or groom to be, there is no way you can comment on whether their choice of partner is ideal. That is a comment reserved for your mind only. If you just say whatever is on your mind, it’s easy to find yourself regretting and apologizing later.

The phrase “think before you speak” refers to the mindfulness practice of reflecting on the impact of your words before sharing them with others. Being a good conversationalist is a good social skill that can be cultivated through thoughtful communication.

Words have power and can hurt others. Negative words can negatively impact one’s mental health but the right words can uplift someone from a dark place. As children, many of us were taught to think before we speak and for a good reason. We’ve all been caught in moments of emotion where we want to lay into another person or maybe just the world at large, but taking a moment to consider what you’re going to say can make a huge difference in our relationships.
Kind words can truly change someone’s day. You never know what someone is going through and sometimes a small compliment can make a difference.

Thinking before you speak is about pausing to consider the intentions or goals behind what you are about to share, or letting excess emotion or agitation settle so you aren’t drawn to speak in a way you otherwise wouldn’t. This can help you prevent misunderstandings and conflicts, and build better relationships. The practice of taking a moment to consider what you want to say is very important.

Mindful communication requires emotional intelligence to help you to speak more clearly. When you’re aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings, you can also begin to pay attention to your words and the way you deliver them. Thinking before you speak is a form of mindful communication, using emotional intelligence to consider how your words might affect the listener’s feelings and adjust your message accordingly.

Thinking before you speak is not only beneficial to one’s personal life but to the professional space as well. It improves relationships as good communication helps builds trust and strengthens relationships as there will be no need for further explanations to justify or clarify what was said which could just further lead to more misunderstandings.

Good communication makes one reliable and trustworthy and can open new opportunities. There is always a few misunderstandings when people communicate efficiently. Good communication which is thoroughly thought through avoids unnecessary conflicts as it listens to the feelings of others and respects different perspectives.

Thinking before you talk not only encourages others to do the same but increases your emotional regulation because by thinking, you assess your feelings. Remembering to think before you speak can take some time and effort, but it can become natural with a little practice.

When you feel the urge to speak impulsively, especially in this period of campaigns, take a breath, to help calm your mind and body and give yourself a moment to consider the intention or goal behind what you want to say. This can help prevent you from reacting quickly, and allows you to respond more thoughtfully. Even on social media, before you hit the send button or reply button, read through what your response is. Is it necessary to respond the way you have responded? What are the consequences of your response? Ask yourself these questions and you will be a better communicator.

The skill of pausing before you speak by counting to ten in one’s head is a method of communication that is helpful. Use this time to clear your mind and calm any lingering emotions. This can make a big difference in how you communicate, especially in emotionally charged situations such as a heated debate or simply when being interviewed.
Before speaking, ask yourself three questions. If the answer to any of these questions is no, consider rephrasing your message to make it more meaningful, or choose not to speak at all.
* Is what I’m about to say true?
* Is it necessary?
* Is it kind?

Will your message be helpful or hurtful? Will it contribute positively to the conversation? By thinking through the impact of your words, you can choose words that promote understanding and cooperation. Before responding in a conversation, take a moment to reflect on what you want to say. This gives you time to consider your words and their potential impact, so you can give more thoughtful responses.

When people speak impulsively, they often make mistakes that can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. Consider the other person’s perspective before you speak. Ask yourself how your words might make them feel and whether your message is respectful and kind. For those in spaces that require them to be public speakers, consider taking a class or short course on communication skills or public speaking so that you do not find yourself apologizing every now and then or being an enemy to an entire province because you spoke or speak without thinking.

Developing the habit of thinking before you speak takes time and practice. There are tips that can help parents teach children about thinking before they speak and adults who seem to have a challenge with speaking before they think, can also try these methods in their everyday conversations.
* Model mindful communication: Children often learn by example. Show them how to pause and reflect before they speak by practicing mindful communication yourself as an adult.
* Teach empathy: Encourage children to consider how their words might affect others. Discuss the importance of kindness and understanding in communication and by doing so, you are reminding yourself why empathy is key in our everyday living.
* Use age-appropriate language: Explain the idea of thinking before speaking in a way that’s easy for children to understand or reminding yourself as an adult why language is important because you are expected to lead by example especially if you are a leader.
* Praise thoughtful communication: Praise your children when they remember to think before they speak and pat yourself as well every-time you think before you speak if this is when you are beginning to perfect the art of thinking as an adult.

Practicing thinking before speaking in a professional setting improves your communication in the workplace. Before a meeting, review the agenda and prepare your thoughts to help you speak more thoughtfully. Listen to others before you reply to ensure your comments are relevant and considerate. Take down key points during conversations to give you time to think and remember important details. In discussions, take a pause before you speak to help you organize your thoughts. If you’re unsure about something, ask questions before responding.

Seek help when in need, visit a Counsellor near you!