Moonga could not hold back. A long ride from Solwezi where he was doing data collection before proceeding to Mazabuka with a tight deadline meant he did not have much time to spend in Lusaka. He had informed his girlfriend Mwangala that he only had an hour in Lusaka before he could proceed to Southern Province. As he sat in that café, waiting impatiently, minutes clocking, he realized that the one hour was not going to work. She informed him she was still cooking porridge for the kids before she could step out.

Winnie had advised her husband to eat nshima before they started off for the wedding. Her husband refused, saying the venue was too good and he was keeping his appetite for a good meal at the prestigious hotel. As expected by Winnie, the meal was served 3 hours late due to the bridal party arriving late. The MC did not offer an apology but said the bridal party was on Zambian time with the wedding starting at 21 hours instead of 18 hours. Some people are perpetually late, being late an hour or more with no prior apology can never be justified.

There are many reasons why some people cannot keep time. Great East Road had a lot of traffic, if it happens once, I don’t treat it as significant but if it is your perpetual excuse, then the traffic is not your problem but you are the problem. If you know traffic is usually a problem, why not beat the traffic? Change the route or start off time to arrive in good time. Cook the porridge in good time if you know you have a date and to the bride and grooms to be, the people you invite to your weddings, have other programmes the next day, they cannot put their lives on hold simply because you are marrying, therefore, have the courtesy to start on time as indicated on the invitation cards.
Power dynamics deeply influence time management. High ranking government officials must realise they are not a monarch to keep people waiting. This is often seen, where the guest of honour delays to come through and the entire event is delayed.

There are probably as many reasons for unpunctuality as there are habitually late people. Sometimes it seems deep, but not always. If your roommate spends too much time in the bathroom and makes you late, ensure he/she goes in the bathroom an hour earlier than the usual time. You cannot always use your partner as an excuse for being late. What is your role in the whole scenario? Do something by ensuring your partner does not delay you.

Lateness can also be caused when we have a reluctance to change gear – to end one activity and start another. We might not like getting out of bed especially in the cold season or we put off going to bed early hence wake up late. Stopping something we are absorbed in to do something else can be annoying. It takes willpower to carry out. But if we don’t change gear in time when someone is waiting for us, we are in danger of being judged as selfish.

Some late people choose to accept that they are terrible timekeepers and that they can’t do anything about it. Yet punctual people think they know that late people could decide to be on time and follow through.

But while everyone can be late occasionally, I am going to focus on recurring lateness, be it five minutes or 30 minutes. Just as we have come to understand that jokes or slips of the tongue can conceal unconscious attitudes or motivations, we understand that lateness, too, is meaningful—especially when it is habitual or shows up consistently in a particular relationship.

Punctuality is a matter of consideration for others. It is a sign of good manners, respect, and sometimes merely a willingness to cooperate. It need not imply a difference in status. It arises out of perspective, graciousness, and clarity about self-assertion. It is a social necessity. Once you have set the time for something, it is no longer the occasion for a statement about autonomy, or the place to vent resentment over past grievances.

Being late expresses disrespect. It implies other priorities. No one likes to wait for someone, wondering if the person is challenging or forgetting them.

Lateness is meaningful because it reveals an internal conflict. If lateness is an issue in your life, try the following experiment: Select one day and go to every appointment 10 minutes early. Check out how this feels. Not only may you feel empowered but a diffuse burden may feel lifted. As much as the chronically late may deny its significance, lateness often has a psychological meaning.

Being punctual can feel like a huge relief. It is only when the latecomers make the decision to be punctual that they change. It must be a conscious decision; if they merely make an attempt to “try” to be on time, they won’t be.

Chronic lateness often serves an unconscious psychological function. It can be a form of avoidance, a way to delay facing situations that trigger discomfort. For others, it becomes a way to assert control in environments that feel powerless. If someone keeps pricking themselves on a razor wire, the solution is not handing them safety gloves but finding out why they keep touching the razor wire knowing very well it can prick. Lasting change becomes possible when one realizes what lateness is actually doing.

Understanding why one is always late is the first step towards making meaningful change. Some people run late because of anxiety, others because of anger and while others, simply because their brains genuinely process time differently than most people.

Some people are perfectionist and cannot leave the house until everything feels right. They might check their bag four times, rewrite the email three times, change outfits twice and finally settle on an outfit they never tried on. This behaviour isn’t about vanity but managing deep discomfort with imperfection.

Others use lateness as an unconscious shield to avoid anxiety. If you are dreading a social event, a difficult conversation, arriving late shortens your exposure time to the uncomfortable situation. Most people with this problem don’t even realise it as it is an unconscious strategy and they do genuinely want to be on time but the lateness serves a protective function. This is the reason why most students arrive late to examination venues as they quickly want to start and finish.

There are people who are time-blind. They live in a world where everything takes a few minutes. This pattern reflects genuine difficulty with time perception and is not laziness or disrespect. People with Attention Disorders may experience it intensely but it can affect anyone. Internal clocks may simply run differently, making it difficult to estimate how long preparedness can take.

Without the pressure of running late, thrill seekers are not motivated. They need the rush of being late. The adrenaline of racing against time creates focus and energy that ordinary circumstances cannot provide. People who are thrill seekers are capable of keeping time but find it boring, hence wait for the last minute.

The passive resister expresses through lateness what they cannot say with words. Maybe they resent their job or feel controlled by a partner. Their being late becomes a quiet rebellion.

Being overwhelmed because of work demands, family needs, social obligations and personal goals isn’t an issue of time management skill. Rather, it’s having difficulties setting limits and boundaries and fear of disappointing others.

In relationships, time carries meaning. When you are constantly late, you are communicating something to the person waiting for you and the message is, “my time matters more than yours.” Your friend waiting for you 30 minutes at a restaurant, your colleague covering for you in a meeting. Over time, people stop expecting you to be on time. They will simply say, ndiye mwe alili. Family and friends may never say how frustrated they feel but they feel it. Professional relationships can suffer too.

Being late to a medical appointment can have real consequences, a missed slot or another person simply losing a life because they could not get an earlier appointment because it was given to you but you chose to be late.

For anxiety driven lateness, gradual exposure works well. If arriving late triggers discomfort, start by arriving 5 minutes before an event instead of your usual 5 minutes late. If you are consistently late to a particular gathering, ask yourself what you might be avoiding or expressing through the late behaviour. Addressing the underlying tension often resolves the lateness.

Setting alarm clocks is very useful when you have issues with time-blindness. Set multiple alarms, one to start getting ready and another when to start off.

If overwhelm drives your lateness, ruthless prioritization and learning to decline commitments could be the solution. Learn to say no to new obligations if you are overcommitted.

Building new habits takes time and patience. Setbacks will happen during stressful times but the goal is progress and not perfection. Self-awareness will help most people but it is most important to seek help when lateness has cost you a job, damaged a relationship or created a conflict with people you care for. Understanding the psychology behind your lateness transforms it from a character flaw into something solvable. Whether its time blindness, anxiety, perfectionism, that awareness creates room for meaningful change.

Zambians when employed by strict parastatals or private companies, do keep time. Few Zambians miss their flights because they know the financial implications. Zambians when working abroad, are never late for work. Zambians are never late for a job interview. Clearly, this shows, there is nothing like “Zambian-time,” but simply our excuse for embracing lateness.

Remember to have your voter’s card and NRC on handy, we are voting on 13 August 2026, be on time.

Seek help when in need, visit a Counsellor near you!