No matter how many times he tried calling the CEO, his calls were never returned. Mbo was beginning to think the CEO had blacklisted his number. But how do you walk to the CEO and ask if he has blacklisted your line? The last time he tried making an attempt to speak with him in his office, the CEO bluntly told him that he was too junior to speak with him.

Ever found yourself in a situation where you suddenly become a black sheep in a work environment and you have no idea what wrong you have done? They stop asking for your opinion or introducing you to new clients? What you can do when such happens?

You put in long hours, work extra hard, give the job your best and add extra effort but you’re not seen competent or capable and get assigned to tasks far below your ability level. If that happens to you, become your own lawyer. Make a list of all you have done diligently and approach your boss when he/she is in a good mood. Let the boss or supervisor know that you want to grow and ask for an opportunity to show case your skills fully.

You work diligently and efficiently but you never get feedback at all. This absence could mean you are not been viewed as a valued team member or that you are not expected to last long in the job. If that is the case, learn to speak up by asking for feed-back directly or before any major decisions are made.

Sometimes a supervisor could be throwing insults or rebuking you at every opportunity. If that is the case, talk to your boss. This is definitely a problem. Not all managers have people skills and be mindful not to come out as a complainer. Speak with respect even as you seek audience with your boss.

Sometimes it’s clear that your boss has time for others but not you. Find time to speak your heart out in a respectable manner. Ask what you can do to prove yourself and make things right if you had at some point wronged your boss unknowingly. Let the boss know you need their guidance and leadership.

Once you notice that your boss has completely lost trust in you, talk about it before it becomes a bigger problem. In your decision with your boss, avoid being defensive and confrontational. Ask what you can do better to earn their trust. There are many reasons why people may have fallen out of favour with the boss, but the worst thing you can do is pretend it’s not happening. The sooner you realize the relationship isn’t working is the moment you have to make it right. Do what you have to do to communicate with your boss and start making improvements immediately.

You can ask someone to fix things like slowness, or improve specific job skills, but it’s hard to tell someone to change their personality. If you don’t “fit in” anymore, or your personality clashes with a superior, it’s probably time to open up your network and find out what’s happening on the job market. It’s far better than crying in the bathroom or wondering who used juju to give you “mashamwa” bad luck.

The reason that most people get hired is the same as the reason most people get fired. And that reason is personality. People don’t just get hired for their skills. They get hired for their skills and their personality. You get chosen for a job interview because your CV and maybe pre-screening phone call, confirmed that you had the desired credentials. But nearly every other candidate interviewed will also have those same skills. So, the hiring decision almost invariably comes down to personality. Which candidate did the hiring manager like the most? Which one is a better fit with the team and the firm culture?

Most employment relationships come to an end over some form of a personality clash between an employee and a manager, or a staff member’s fit with the overall team. Staff come and go, people are promoted, new managers are brought in, and organisations are restructured. The job your personality got you hired for could have a completely different vibe six months or a year down the road. A job is not a marriage, it shouldn’t be for better or worse scenario. It can cost your mental health if you are not careful or bring about health complications such as high blood pressure.

Danny felt that no matter what good deeds he did as a man, he was never going to be able to please his wife, Esther. She never accepted the fact that he could not afford renting a house in a good residential area. She felt embarrassed to invite her siblings and friends to the high- density area they lived in. Meanwhile, Danny felt he was doing his best by ensuring he rented a place that had a wall fence and a borehole but his wife complained almost daily that she didn’t grow up in a compound and was finding it hard to adjust to the neighbourhood. The complaints led to Dannys wife going away every weekend to her parents and carrying the kids along, claiming she didn’t want them interacting with the kids neighbours on a weekend, as during the week, they were pre-occupied with school. This decision of now having his wife and kids around psychologically broke Danny. He felt like a failure as he only saw his wife and kids on Sunday evenings and sometimes on Mondays as they would pack uniforms and head straight to school from their grandparents.

No matter what Becky did, she didn’t seem to please George anymore. He started with complaining about her weight gain. Becky could not believe that her husband would complain about her pregnancy weight when the baby was only 3 months old. Every time he came home drunk, he would jokingly tell her that, out there, “kwaliba abanakashi aba ishiba uku samba.”

Marriage is a two-way street, that not only has an entry and an exit too. Problems will always exist and seeking a resolution to them is harder. Because it takes more patience and effort and in totality acknowledgement of your relationship and problems. Healthy marital relationships do not only exist in movies but can be created by the individuals involved. When it comes to our self-esteem, it isn’t very healthy for us to bend or be dominated. Also, it’s exactly at this point when ego kicks in between couples and there on if neither is ready to step down from their high horse, things become irreversible.

It is said that love is to women, what respect is to men. For a blissful marriage to exist, a woman must be loved and a man respected. Men should not expect respect without loving their wives and neither should women expect love where they do not respect their husband. In marriage, love and respect are constantly lost and regained. As the husband and wife grow – they will lose and regain their values together. This is what forms the foundation of the strongest of relationships.

But we need to remember that no relationship has completely fallen apart as long as the other is trying to balance it. For anything to fall apart, both the pillars need to be destabilised. That’s why they say that when a couple fights, if one is angry then the other needs to hold their anger. Nothing can fall apart till both stop trying, just like nothing can be repaired without actually trying to fix it.

Fixing a marriage is not child’s play. It’s easy to come over by negative thoughts and emotions but remember you’ll feel more wholesome when you’ve given the other person the benefit of doubt and your patience. It’s not about who has shown more affection or who has displayed more love or respect in the past. Your problem is in the present and that is where all the actions and words also count now.

But as easy it is to give up, your strongest relationships will be built on fighting it out for what is right and in the long run that is what will turn to be the best kind of relationship you will ever have. It’s possible to regain love and trust — if you both have ever truly been in love there is nothing in the universe to stop you from getting back together until both of you stop trying!

Falling out of favour does not only happen in work places or marriages but can happen in all aspects of life, even in Politics. Lately, we are seeing candidates losing favour with their grassroots or their leadership damping them. So, which ever area you have fallen out of favour, remember that; the only time you run out of choices is when you stop taking chances. And if you are not making mistakes, then you are not making any decisions. Don’t dwell on yesterday; today and tomorrow, apply the lessons learned yesterday and never give up in the middle. Every new day, gives you an opportunity to start afresh and regain favour.

Seek help when in need, visit a Counsellor near you!