In her university days, Sililo would fall asleep within five minutes of putting her head on the pillow. It didn’t matter that the roommates were blasting music, as long as her head hit the pillow, she would be in dreamland. Many years later, at 47 years, as a mother and experiencing peri-menopause symptoms, she was dozing at 20:00 hours on a lucky evening or only sleeping at 02:00 and had to be up by 05:00 hours to prepare the kids for school and beat the Lusaka traffic. She followed all the rules in the book, a warm bath, calming tea but nothing seemed to settle her body and mind to sleep.

For many women in their 40s, Sililo’s predicament might sound familiar. Hormonal and physiological changes can cause ongoing sleep issues for women at this point in their lives.

Hot flashes and night sweats are often the first symptoms that come to mind as women enter the menopause transition period but more often is the insomnia. Once they wake up to use the bathroom, they will struggle to get back to sleep. To the male folk, understand your woman and do not disturb her when you get back at midnight and find her sleeping because she will struggle to fall back to sleep. Be kind and allow her to enjoy her rest. The same way you went alone to meet the guys or watch a soccer game, is the same way you should warm your meal alone and let the woman rest.

In the 40s, are a time of many hormonal and bodily changes. True menopause is when a woman will have no periods for at least 12 months and this doesn’t usually happen till women are in their early 50s or above 50s. The average age of menopause starts after 51. But the years leading up to menopause, referred to as “perimenopause,” can affect our moods, bodies, and sleep and this is usually in the 40s though some women experience the changes earlier or later than that.

Perimenopause and menopause definitely do contribute to the sleep disturbances women experience in their 40s. You can blame hormonal changes for much of this. As women age, our egg quality decreases, and hormone production changes as a result. Though melatonin is the hormone most commonly associated with sleep, all hormones contribute to the quality of your nightly sleep. Progesterone starts to decline first, often in our late 30s, and progesterone generally helps us fall asleep.

As perimenopause progresses, estrogen starts to decline as well. Estrogen generally helps you stay asleep. In addition, the stress hormone cortisol can also affect your sleep by causing you to wake up around 3 a.m. with your mind racing and thinking about all the stress you have.

These hormonal changes also contribute to some of the physical discomforts women of this age experience that tend to disturb sleep. Hormonal fluctuations during these transitional phases can lead to a range of symptoms that can interfere with sleep, including hot flashes, night sweats, and mood disturbances. Changes in hormone production also disrupt the body’s natural sleep-wake cycles, causing issues with falling and staying asleep.

Hormones might not be the only thing to blame for insomnia in women. The 40s are a particularly stressful decade, especially if you’re a woman; life responsibilities, bills, school fees, school runs, aging parents, the beginnings of health problems, managing households, having more responsibilities at work, family committees that require financial contributions, black tax, village banking loans, pressure from side-chicks if your man isn’t man enough to put boundaries and hide his infidelity.

All of this means that it’s nearly impossible to create personal time for self-care: time to relax or take care of your own physical and mental health needs. A stressed-out body and mind means poor quality sleep. The type of things women tend to worry about, given gender roles, are also the type that never end. Going to bed, a woman has to plan on the kid’s lunch box, the meals for that day and nowadays, everyday bills.

While certain aspects of aging, including sleep changes, can’t be completely fixed, there are effective things you can do to help yourself fall asleep and feel more rested when you wake up.

Develop good sleep-habits
The basis for a good night’s sleep starts with establishing healthy, sleep-promoting daily routines.
• Sleep schedules are important: Try to go to sleep and get up at the same time each day.
• Stop eating about two to three hours before going to bed.
• Reduce screen time about two hours before bedtime.
• Exercise helps, though if you can only exercise in the late hours before bed, keep it simple and have a shower/bath afterwards.

Get Sun-light exposure
Expose your body to sunlight, you need the vitamin D for your bones especially that most jobs keep us on our desks all day with no exposure to sunlight. With our busy schedules, a walk at lunch hour which could even take 15 to 20 minutes can do wonders for our body, as daily exercise is an important foundation for ensuring a good night’s sleep. It’s even better if you can do it much earlier outside because early light exposure each day is another key to better quality sleep each night.

Allow for changes in your sleep patterns
One problem that many insomniacs have is rigid and unrealistic expectations about sleep. Perimenopausal women might need to adjust their expectations around sleep. The bedtime and sleep quality you used to take for granted may not be right for you anymore. If you are dozing at 20:00 hours, go to bed and if you can do some good five hours of sleep, the body would have rested. We tend to become more early birds as we get older, so it’s okay if you are waking up earlier than you used to but have some good hours of rest of at least five hours.

Consider medical intervention
Medications shouldn’t be the first thing you try to solve your sleep issues but life-style changes, such as regular exercise, stress reduction, and a balanced diet, can also help improve sleep quality and overall health.
If behavioral changes don’t work, there are medical solutions available for women struggling with sleep disturbances in middle age and you would need to speak to your doctor. Self-medicating can be harmful. But teas that contain chamomile are safe and help relax the body or going on pure magnesium glycinate.

The 40s are often a time of intense worrying. We worry about our kids, parents, spouses, jobs, our futures… the list goes on. Bedtime is not a time to read about all the problems going on. It’s a time to relax the mind so the body can reboot for the next day but if you get into bed, start scrolling and reading everything negative, the mind won’t relax. Or if you start writing a budget in bed and going through your receipts and items the builder requires for the next day, your sleep will surely be disturbed. Do those things of catching up on tasks hours before getting into bed. It could be immediately you get home so that you have enough time to switch the mind off worries and out of your system during sleep hours.

Employing some of these tips can be super helpful and certainly worth exploring. Never hesitate to reach out to a physician about sleep or any other health issues that come up during this time in life. And my ladies, don’t rush into trying out unprescribed medications that you see or read about on social media just because someone says it’s now making them sleep better and has reduced their worries. These medications could have detrimental effects in the long run.

If you survived turning up daily as if all was okay even as you bled when on your periods, surely you will survive the peri-menopausal stage and through to menopause. Women are built differently and surely a strong species; you will get through this.

Seek help when in need, visit a Counsellor near you!