MAYBE my fear is misplaced, but I am still not going to mess with the American Ambassador on this one because that muzungu looks like he spends some time in the gym.

Oh yes people! Ask anyone who has met Ambassador Eric Schultz, they will tell you he walks like Jean Claude Van damme with his bowlegs – you don’t want to pick a fight with such men.

So I will stick to less scary diplomats like Ambassador Emmanuel Cohet. Sir, I know you are two Schultz taller, but you are not as scary. So tell me, why can’t you diplomats develop some guts and tell off these criminals in government just like Ambassador Arve Ofstad did last week?

Ambassador OFSTAD: “The reasons why we are closing the embassy are not as secret as you may think. You see, there is a feeling that Zambia didn’t do enough itself to mobilise it’s own resources with taxing. You have so many opportunities to increase your tax and if you don’t do that yourselves why should we fund your activities?”

(Do you hear that Ambassador Timo Olkkonen? That’s what we want to hear from Finland, a firm voice warning the thieves in government that if they continue chewing donor money with impunity, you will dump their behinds. I mean, there are plenty of reasons why you should be upset with them.)

OFSTAD: “Secondly, there was a feeling that with the high growth of the Zambian economy in the last 20 years, we didn’t see recourse re-distribution. So why should we continue to fund you when even the resources that you collect yourselves are so unequally distributed?”

(Wait, maybe it’s just me, but this looks like Ambassador Henrik Cederin wanted to air his Swedish frustrations over the ZNFU theft and asked Ambassador Ofstad to pull a middle finger on us since the Norwegian is leaving.)

OFSTAD: “And there was also the feeling that the anti corruption fight has been up and down and we feel that when a country doesn’t make enough use of its own resources, then we should leave.”

(Well, since you didn’t have the courage to go back to State House the same way you brought your credentials, and tell my President all your frustrations, here it is: Your Excellency Ambassador Ofstad, if you are not from Ireland and during your long stay here you never brought him any Irish happy juice, then shut up and get the hell out of here before my President falls on your bitter moustache like a tonne of bricks!)

That’s it for today