Yesterday, Lusaka hosted the Vitality Women’s Wellness Experience, a day dedicated to something our mothers rarely spoke about: menopause and the hormonal changes that lead up to it. It was held at the Mulungushi International Conference Centre, and the atmosphere was warm, curious, and quietly emotional.

There was laughter, note-taking, and, at times, the kind of silence that comes when truth lands. Women leaned in, eager to learn, and even more eager to share. I sat there thinking how rare it still is for women, especially in African settings, to discuss this stage of life so openly.

When we were teenagers, we were taught the basics of womanhood: menstruation, hygiene, pregnancy. Maybe someone mentioned birth control in a hushed tone. But what comes after those years of fertility? Almost nothing was said. Our mothers’ generation faced this transition quietly, folding fans in church to cool sudden heat, or waking up drenched in sweat with no language for what was happening. Some were called moody or difficult when really, they were simply navigating hormonal chaos in silence.

Aunties would whisper about “women’s changes,” but the words menopause or perimenopause were rarely used. It was treated as an ending rather than a beginning, as though once a woman’s cycle stopped, her relevance did too. Now, it’s our turn to change that story.

Perimenopause can begin in our thirties or forties. Hormones fluctuate, moods swing, energy dips, sleep disappears, and memory falters. For some women, the body feels foreign. For others, it’s simply exhaustion that no amount of rest can fix. It can feel unsettling, but it is not the end of anything. It is the body’s way of recalibrating, asking for gentler care, better boundaries, and more attention to its rhythm.

At the Vitality conference yesterday, psychologists, and wellness coaches came together to demystify this process. They reminded us that menopause is not a disease. It is a transition, one that, if understood, can be navigated with grace. What struck me most was the collective sigh of relief in the room. Some women scribbled notes furiously, others nodded, tears glistening as they finally recognised themselves in the stories being told. It is so easy for women to call themselves “lazy” or “crazy,” never realising their hormones are shifting, oftentimes blaming themselves for being emotional or tired, when their bodies are simply moving through change.

There was something profoundly healing about that honesty. For once, we were not pretending to be fine.

Hormonal health affects every corner of a woman’s life: mood, energy, relationships, confidence, even career decisions. Yet we rarely discuss it openly. We talk about fitness, skincare, and nutrition, but not the chemistry that quietly shapes all of those things. Maybe it’s because we have been raised to equate a woman’s value with youth. Once fertility fades, people assume vitality must too. But that belief is outdated, and it has kept generations of women living small.

Our grandmothers had no words for what was happening, so they endured it silently. Our mothers whispered about it behind closed doors, perhaps to avoid appearing weak. But we are the bridge generation, the first with access to information, the internet, wellness events, and communities that speak openly. We can choose differently.

We can talk about oestrogen and mood changes in the same breath as herbal teas and morning walks. We can learn from science without losing touch with the wisdom of our ancestors. Because African and South Asian traditions have always known that healing is not only medical, it is also communal.

In many traditional households, older women were once the keepers of balance and wisdom. They guided the younger ones with knowledge gathered through experience. Somewhere along the line, modern life replaced that mentorship with isolation. Women started to face menopause alone, juggling work, parenting, and ageing parents, all while trying to hide their exhaustion. We lost the circle, the sisterhood. Conversations like these are needed because this is how we rebuild it.

This isn’t just about hormones; it’s about honesty. It’s about learning to talk about our bodies without shame. To tell a friend, “I think I’m entering a new phase, and that’s alright.” It’s about families learning that a woman who cries more easily or needs quiet isn’t broken, she’s adapting. It’s about workplaces understanding that wellness programmes should include hormonal health, not only gym memberships.

We can also bring back old wisdom. Across Africa and Asia, women have long used herbs, teas, and rituals to restore equilibrium. Modern wellness can meet that knowledge halfway. A walk at sunrise, mindful breathing, cutting down caffeine, or choosing lighter meals at night are simple things support balance. They remind us that wellness doesn’t always require a clinic, sometimes it just requires awareness.

Yesterday’s event reminded me that silence isolates, but conversation connects. When women share openly, shame loses its grip.

If our mothers whispered through their symptoms, let us be the generation that speaks with ease. Let us say menopause is not a curtain call but a recalibration, a time when the body slows down just enough to teach us what we ignored in our youth. It is the moment to listen inward, not to shrink away.

The women at Vitality were living proof that this conversation is overdue. There was power in that room, not the loud kind that needs to prove itself, but the quiet strength of women who have seen enough life to know that softness is not weakness.

One message from the conference stood out to me: menopause doesn’t take away a woman’s identity, it deepens it.

When we speak honestly about our bodies, we do more than educate – we free ourselves and the generations of women who will follow. Menopause and hormonal health deserve curiosity, not fear. These changes are not a loss of youth but an evolution of wisdom, a reminder that strength and softness can exist in the same body.

Kaajal Vaghela is a wellness entrepreneur, sportswear designer, and diabetes wellness consultant with over three decades of lived experience managing Type 1 diabetes. Having previously served as Chairperson of the Lusaka branch of the Diabetes Association of Zambia, she remains a passionate advocate for breaking down myths and building awareness about diabetes. For more personalised coaching or corporate wellness workshops, visit: www.kaajalvaghela.com and for any feedback: [email protected])