My four-year-old daughter had an accident and wet her bed whilst sleeping on my lap, you should have seen me leap for fear of the urine reaching far. In Kalabo where I come from, we are taught that when a baby wets your undies, it signifies another child on the way, I quickly rushed to my mother to find out if that myth is applicable when it involves a four-year old. I cannot imagine another baby at 40 years old. I whispered a prayer that God should open up the wombs of women struggling with infertility and help me achieve my goals.

This brings me to the issue of resolutions in the new year. Peoples timelines will be filled with goals and resolutions for 2024. As one grows older, you begin to make realistic goals, I wish to visit Disney world with my children but to say it will happen in 2024 is an unrealistic as I have a daughter who should start university or college in 2024 and another one proceeding to grade eight in the same year. Therefore, priority is on getting these two into school and sorting out their fees. So, although it is unrealistic to want to take my children to Disney world, it is still my goal.

It is said we need to believe in the impossible and that we can make our dreams come true if only we believe but at the same time we need to be realistic and not waste time going after unrealistic goals. There is nothing wrong in wishing for a Disney holiday when my savings account is at K 10, 000.00 only but this means I have to work hard for me to reach this goal. Unrealistic goals are goals that you literally have no chance of achieving like my feet becoming a smaller size. If my goal was to be the new Minister of Foreign Affairs, just because it is unlikely to happen, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. More examples of unrealistic goals would be me thinking I could be as famous as Oprah Winfrey or become richer than Dangote or that one of my daughters would marry into the British Royal family. None of these examples is technically impossible but they are unlikely to happen. For my goals to be realistic, I have to take into account my current situation in life. To be famous like Oprah, I have to do something good that will make world news, I have to provide a service that will earn me a lot of money to be like Dangote and I have to start by ensuring my daughters have passports to fly out for opportunities to meet the British Royals.

People set unrealistic goals because they don’t understand what it takes to reach those goals and because they don’t know how to set achievable goals. Just because a friend has a successful podcast online, then I decide to set one. That would mean I am focusing on the desired results without taking into consideration the changes I need to make to get there. By now, you should be wondering if it’s worth setting unrealistic goals or not, just because a goal is hard to reach doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It’s your choice to put in time and effort in the set goal. Working hard and sacrificing, staying away from malls on weekends to save money will make me be able to have my Disney holiday. And if I fail to reach my goal, at the end of 2024, I will evaluate and see where I went wrong and we start all over again in 2025. Let’s make sure we don’t set vague goas which we are not serious about. We need to know exactly what we want and how much we are willing to work for it.

I have friends who are planning to return to school and upgrade their qualifications but you will hear them say, “no, that university, people don’t finish their programmes on time”. I always say, it’s the student’s efforts, master’s students are always in a habit of withdrawing with permission and so its not the fault of the institution but the lack of seriousness of students. If you have a big goal and want to make sure you attain it, you need to know exactly what is your goal? When are you planning on achieving it? How are you going to work for it? What do you need to do daily to make progress on the goal? You need a detailed action plan and a clear routine so that you don’t waste time.

To those planning on quitting alcohol, its possible, a day at a time. To those spouses planning on being faithful in their marriages, its possible. To a student planning on improving grades, you can do it, study hard. To public office bearers, planning on squandering public resources to get rich quicker, it’s not worth it. To elected government officials, do what we elected you for, represent us well.

Whatever goals you set, don’t let your goals scare you, take the first step and remember that even if it seems unattainable, slowly you will get there. Remember, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Wishing you unceasing love and good health, Happy 2024!!!

About the author

Aka Monde, is a licensed Professional Counsellor who holds a Master of Science in Counselling from the University of Zambia. She believes in the adage “a problem shared, is a problem half solved.” Speak to your pastor, church elder, elderly family member or see a professional counsellor when in need.

Email: [email protected]