Wife for hire

PF Deputy Secretary General Mumbi Phiri: File picture

MUMBI Phiri has every right to tell us how thin her husband is and how much he sweats through hard work to satisfy her.

She is also at liberty to share with the whole world how much she enjoys kneeling down to inspect his framework and design.

Freedom of speech further allows Mumbi to express her disappointment if she comes across a potbelly that gives her hell, no matter how much she kneels down.

I don’t care whether it’s GBM’s potbelly which she particularly did not enjoy, or if it’s generally all bellies, including Davies Chama’s and that of Chishimba kambwili which turn her off; my question is, “Why, where, when and how did Mumbi inspect my President’s belly for her to speak so authoritatively about it?”

MUMBI Phiri on Radio Ichengelo: “Men from the East are good my dear brother. Ine abalume bandi ba Phiri ebo naupwako, tabakwata nolufumo. Nolufumo nshilu fwaya. Elyo balishiba no kwishiba ati ine ulufumo nshilufwaya, balaya na ku gym. Mfwaya nga nabeminina, ndebamona umo bapwililikila. Ulufumo lwanshi? Ndekontama nga pali fimo efyo ndefwaya ukumona? Tefyo naba. Nangu ba President Edgar Lungu Tabakwata ulufumo ulukulu.”

Mumbi, as a mother I have a lot of respect for you and I think you are a very beautiful woman, in your own right, but stay far away from my President, okay?

You may have had an opportunity to inspect the potbellies of all the important men from the East, but you cannot go on a Christian radio station to start describing the six packs and one packs that you have come across in your illustrious career.

Don’t get me wrong ba Radio Ichengele, I am not saying Christians are not sexy. I know they are very bootylicious – otherwise we wouldn’t have all these children in Sunday school (wink!).

What I am saying is, Mumbi needs to learn to respect the potbellies she may have seen in the past, small or big, because some of them have really ascended to higher authority in our society.

Take my President for Example; is Mumbi trying to say my mama first lady is failing in her wifely duties of preaching to the world how handsome and smart her husband is?

Or is she trying to say that she knows my President better than the first lady?

That’s unacceptable Mumbi, you can’t mix business with pleasure. Your business is politics and you have to draw a line.

But even if you say pleasure is your main business, that’s why you have a chest – keep your pleasurable moments in it.

As for you bakalamba ba GBM, don’t worry about the statement from the deputy PF secretary General. If the ruling party manifesto has been revised to address the size of potbellies, you are the last person they should be concerned about.

Why should you waste your precious campaign time going to the gym to impress Mumbi as if she is your responsibility to satisfy?

Anyway Mumbi, just a word of caution; don’t take the first lady’s silence for granted, she has the nose, alright? And she will not hesitate to blow you away the moment she smells any encroachments on her private territory.

Finally, as you talk about potbellies, bear in mind that you now have very deep potholes on the roads leading to your constituency. It was business doing pleasure with you.

That’s it for today

Twitter: @jmwenda29
MySocialTrends@gmail.com

 

Finally, as you talk about potbellies, bear in mind that you now have very deep potholes on the roads leading to your constituency. It was business doing pleasure with you.

That’s it for today

Twitter: @jmwenda29

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