Ephesians 5v 22- 25

‘WIVES, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. v23For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the Church and He is the Savior of the Body.v24Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husband in everything.

This is a portion of scripture from Ephesians 5v22-24 in the New King James Version. Submission in this context can also mean accepting the authority or control of the husband. So here wives are admonished to yield to the directives of the husband in everything.

Just as the church is subject to Christ, wives are expected to listen and obey their husbands. We must admit from the onset that the Apostle Paul was writing this letter in a different cultural context and time periods. However, there’s a lot we can learn from Paul’s admonitions for Christian couples in our day.

What submission is not.

1. Submission is not blind loyalty

A wife who loves and submits to her husband has all the rights to question the ‘hows and whys about everything she needs to know about her husband. She can even ask the man to stop a business transaction if she feels it’s not good for the family. Objectivity is more important than faking allegiance, especially when you suspect that something is wrong.

2. Colluding is not submission

Colluding is not submission. Let’s take colluding here to suggest that the wife agrees with the husband to cheat or deceive others. A wife who knowingly allows the husband to commit a misdemeanor or felony is not submitting to him. She becomes an accomplice in the wrong act. If the man of the house is abusing children in the home and the wife is aware about it, and can’t report him, that’s conspiracy. You are not helping matters.

3.Irrational tolerance is not submission.

We all need to tolerate each other to a certain extent, but a woman who puts up with a cumbersome husband is not submitting. Some men can be so irresponsible and take a laissez-faire attitude in life because the wife is able to support the family financially. Taking it ease when your husband is going for multiple sex partners is not submissions. Do not submit to the extent of putting your life at risk.

4. Being agreeable to everything is not submission.

A woman need not agree with the husband all the time. Men will not do all the right things all the time, and a good wife can always stand up and give her opinion, even if different from the husband’s.

5. Keeping secrets is not submission.

All couples have little puzzles in their bedrooms that they keep for themselves. However secrets that are a danger and poses health risks to the family are better exposed and not kept as family secret.

What then is submission?

(a)Submission is respect. A well-cultured woman will support her husband in many departments provided the welfare of the family in guaranteed. Because your wife has confidence in you, she will respectfully submit to you. Respect balances the marriage union.

(b)Submission is obedience. When we choose civic leaders to preside over us we give them our allegiance to obey them. Likewise, a wife who accepts a man for marriage is also mandated to obey him. Again, this obedience is not a blank cheque for the man to do anything he likes. Obedience gravitates towards a loving partner.

Submission is trust. A person can only submit to the one he or she trusts. As trust is progressive, the woman will trust and submit to you as she gains your trust over time. Trust is earned, not forced.

We need to put in a disclaimer here and say that wives need not follow everything that the man says.

As we continue to read the fifth chapter of Ephesian, we find in Verse 25 where it says, ‘Husband love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, v26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word v27, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle.

So we see that everything we have said about submission hinges on the man loving his wife. For a woman to submit to her husband, the man should give her love, and unconditional love for that matter. Why? Because the Bible says, ‘Husband love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. ’How did Jesus love the church? Unconditionally. He even gave himself for the church to the point of dying on the cross for the husband and the wife.

Is your wife petty? Love her. Is she moody? Love her. Does she nag you? Love her. So whatever shorting comings you may see in your wife the Bible says love her. Verse 26 says Christ sanctified and cleansed the church. You may not do this to your wife, but certainly your unconditional love can do a lot to change her from being petty, moody or evening stop nagging – unless when it is very necessary. If your wife has spots or wrinkles you can do everything in your power to improve her looks. It all depends on your unconditional love.


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