Munene is a good husband who is always home in time for supper with the entire family. The problem is when his cousins come to Lusaka in December for the family annual get together. During this period, Munene gets home past midnight throughout the entire period and his excuse is; linking up with cousins who have travelled far and wide to meet as per their family tradition. This behaviour does not sit well with Mrs. Munene and she has come to dislike the festive period which turns her husband into a drunkard and into a man who forgets he has family. Munene does not really enjoy the heavy drinking that goes on in December but he fears disappointing his cousins by turning them down as the last time he tried to, he was labelled to be under a petticoat government.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Munene struggles with the pressures of getting new outfits for the family get together. Each mid-year, colour codes are announced and allocated to each family and they are tasked to print t-shirts for all their children. The matching shoes for the entire family, the new hair styles, all this drains her emotionally and financially. And what she dreads the most is when the women are alone preparing the luncheon as the men are busy with the braai and nsunko is passed around, a situation where she fails to say no even though she detests it, for fear of being singled out.

Peer pressure refers to the influence exerted by people within one’s social circle; be it friends, family, colleagues, or broader social networks that can affect how we think, feel, and act.

While we tend to associate peer pressure with adolescence, adults often face similar influences that can shape their decisions in significant ways. There are two main types of peer pressure, direct and indirect. Direct peer pressure involves explicit requests or encouragements to behave in a certain way, such as friends openly encouraging someone to drink at a social gathering. Indirect peer pressure is often the unspoken social norms as the need to have a new hairstyle at every event, the need to wear new outfits or the need to take children to expensive schools which one cannot clearly afford.

As human beings, we are inherently social creatures, and the desire for acceptance and belonging is deeply rooted in our psychology. The need to be part of a group can drive us to adapt our behaviour to match that of others, even if it goes against our personal preferences.

In adulthood, peer pressure is often driven by similar mechanisms but becomes more complex as individuals navigate a wider array of social roles and responsibilities. Adults may feel pressure to conform to the norms of different social groups they belong to, such as family, work colleagues, or friends, especially in contexts where group harmony or approval is valued. Over time, constant exposure to peer influence can impact self-perception and behaviour, leading individuals to question their own choices or preferences.

Many adults face peer pressure in all sorts of ways, including pressures linked to social or financial decisions. In settings where peers have high “social capital” or influence, individuals are more likely to conform to group expectations to avoid social risks or feelings of exclusion. This influence can be particularly strong in work environments or long-term social networks where maintaining relationships is key to social acceptance. This is why some parents send children to expensive schools which they cannot afford and it leads them into debt or having their children constantly changing school each term for failure to pay school fees.

Peer pressure’s influence on adults extends well beyond social situations, impacting life choices, financial decisions, and even lifestyle habits. Peer pressure plays a significant role in decisions around health and substance use, particularly in environments where certain behaviours are normalised or even encouraged. Peer influence can either positively or negatively impact choices related to substance use. For example, negative peer pressure can lead to behaviours like binge drinking, particularly when social norms support heavy alcohol use as a way to socialise or relax. In contrast, positive peer pressure; where friends or peers discourage harmful habits; can encourage individuals to make healthier choices.

Beyond health choices, peer pressure can influence how adults interact with others, affecting friendships, family relationships, and workplace dynamics. Many adults experience peer pressure to maintain certain social habits or behaviours that align with their group’s norms, such as attending gatherings, joining activities, or spending time on social events they may not fully enjoy.

In workplaces, this might include pressures to participate in after-hours events or team-building exercises where the expectation to “fit in” is strong. This social influence can become particularly challenging when individuals feel they must change their behaviours to avoid social exclusion.

Peer pressure extends into the realm of financial and consumer decisions as well, affecting how adults approach spending, lifestyle choices, and even career paths. Some people have gone back to school not because they need to but because everyone in the department has an MBA so they also think they need it. In groups where spending or lifestyle choices signal belonging, people may feel pressured to spend or consume in line with the group, even if it strains their finances or goes against their values, if an individual finds that the new work place takes part in golf tournaments, one might join even though they do not have the finances to support the new sport. Similarly, consumer trends such as purchasing the latest phone can be influenced by peers.

In instances where adults showcase behaviour of hurling insults, this clearly shows failure to avoid peer pressure, as they want to live up to a name of being fearless instead of thinking before they talk hence they go ahead and speak unpalatable language. The same applies when people take part in mob justice.

While peer pressure is often viewed negatively, it can also have positive effects. Positive peer pressure occurs when individuals within a social circle encourage each other to make constructive choices that promote well-being, growth, and development. In adulthood, this can include influences that support healthy habits, personal and professional growth.

For instance, a group that values fitness and well-being can motivate members to pursue physical activity, maintain a balanced diet, or reduce harmful habits like excessive drinking. Some groups will encourage members to be cost saving, grow back yard vegetables or have a second side hustle.

In workplace settings, peer pressure can foster productivity and morale, encouraging collaboration, skill development, and shared goals. For example, teams with a strong, supportive culture can motivate individuals to work effectively, try new approaches, and grow within their roles.

In personal settings, surrounding oneself with people who set and pursue meaningful goals can inspire individuals to focus on their own ambitions, fostering a sense of purpose and direction.

In choosing to not let negative peer pressure shape one’s life, there is need to identify the pressure in everyday living. For adults, peer pressure often operates negligibly, making it challenging to recognise at times. Some common signs of peer pressure include;

• feeling discomfort or anxiety when declining invitations or requests
• frequently doubting personal choices, or sensing a need to “keep up” with the lifestyles or behaviours of others
• feeling pressured to participate in work-related social events, even if they don’t align with personal interests
• agreeing to expensive outings with friends to avoid being the odd one out
• adopting the opinions or habits of others to avoid conflict or feel included
Once identified, managing peer pressure requires self-awareness, confidence, and occasionally, a shift in one’s social network. Learning to say “no” confidently is an essential skill in managing peer pressure. Setting boundaries around time, money, and lifestyle choices allows individuals to make decisions aligned with their priorities. Practicing assertive communication can be useful in maintaining these boundaries respectfully. Surrounding ourselves with people who respect and share similar values can reduce the negative impact of peer pressure. Building a network of friends and acquaintances who encourage autonomy and respect personal choices can provide a support system that reinforces healthy behaviours.

Regularly reflecting on personal values and goals helps maintain a strong sense of self. Taking time to consider what matters most in one’s life can act as a guide during moments of social influence.

Seek help when in need, visit a Counsellor near you!

About the author

Aka Monde, is a licensed Professional Counsellor who holds a Master of Science in Counselling from the University of Zambia. She believes in the adage “a problem shared, is a problem half solved.” Speak to your pastor, church elder, elderly family member or see a professional counsellor when in need.

Email: [email protected]