Idioms Vs Idiots

THIS is the same arrogance that got Mutembo Nchito in a tiny smelly cell in Chongwe and if you continue acting funny, madam Lillian Siyunyi, instead of acting DPP, you will end up worse.

This is how it starts and before you know it, you will have nothing to protect yourself with other than a self nolle.

Even Mr Mutembo thought he was a genius. My President goes out campaigning with Mr Rupiah Banda – clearly demonstrating that he had officially pardoned the former president; what does Mr Mutembo do, he goes all the way to Nigeria to bring witnesses to humiliate Mr Kanitundila in court. Who does that?

I told Mr Mutembo, ‘Sir, as Director of President’s Persecutions, you cannot be flexing your tummy on my President like this, using your legal jargons to shame him and his friends – this will backfire on you’.

The man thought I was joking, where is he today? Archived somewhere in some abandoned warehouse where he is fruitlessly singing lullabies to three ex-chief justice stooges who are equally trying to appear useful to my President.

And there are no cameras allowed there which can help Mr smart guy plead his case to the public, so we will crucify Mr Mutembo quietly until he sings my President’s song, or unless Mr Likando Kalaluka fails to competently fit in his trousers. But even with that, he will never get back his job.

In fact, even if Mr Likando fails to perforate you, Mr Mutembo, before you arrive at NPA, we will wire you with another charge of unlawful drilling – because I have also seen you sweating in the gym for nothing.

So, if you thought you are a great lawyer who knows the law, my President will show you that the greatest lawyers know the judges.

That’s the story about your friend, madam Lillian, so if you continue embarrassing my President like that, you will end up just like Mr Know-it-all Nchito.

In fact it will be worse for you because you have short hair, so if we throw you in Chongwe police cells, the male inmates there will think you are transgender when they see you pee sitting down – and you know how that story will end.

My President can’t tolerate a DPP who can’t fit in his political agenda.

President LUNGU: “I will not revenge to those people who are saying bad about me; vengeance is not mine. This is an opportune time for all of us in politics to reexamine our standing with God.”

Isn’t that a good President speaking? So what are you doing with GBM in court, madam Lillian?

Persecuting him for saying he will go for my President’s throat? Really? I know your scheme, this is how Mr Mutembo started – trying to embarrass my President so that the courts think his understanding of English is crippled?

Where were you in 2011, madam Siyuni? When Michael Sata said, ‘Uno mwaka, Rupiah ndemunyela’, did you see Thandiwe Banda looking for water to wash him afterwards?

Or when Cornelius Mweetwa said Edgar Lungu has gone to bed with Rupiah Banda, did you find Medical Stores managing director Dr Boniface Fundafunda at State House delivering condoms?

They are called idioms, damn it! And they have been used in English expressions, way before you learnt how to talk.

Even Frank Bwalya told us that Sata was a chumbu munshololwa, Dr Christine Kaseba did not peel and boil her husband for breakfast.

Up to now, Esther Lungu is still out there telling people that the whole country needs her breasts, but Mr Kakoma Kanganja has not gone to arrest her for prostitution, you know why? Because he knows they are just idioms!

But look, GBM is all over international news because of your misplaced prosecution.

Now, you tell me; what about these idiots in UPND with their stupid idioms who are saying they will flush away Lungu in August; will you prosecute them for referring to my President as ‘processed food?’

That’s it for today

         

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