IF a bunch of hungry Copperbelt University students can overpower a unit of anti-riot paramilitary police officers and grab their weapons, then I am sure these officers wear serious diapers when attempting to arrest Jerabos – don’t ask me why.

I know my President says these students are sponsored by the opposition (and my President is always right) but even if they were sponsored by Al Shabaab, how can a kapokola who has been to Sondela and Kanfinsa lose a weapon to a university fresher in broad day light?

Madam Charity Katanga, how are you going to convince me that these police officers have not decided to start arming the students because they are also fed up of watching my President’s teeth on TV?

And quite frankly, you sound like you are part of the conspiracy.

Charity KATANGA: “Students should not dare the police; we are here to maintain law and order, including providing ‘security’ to the same students.”

Exactly! Security weapons; that’s what you are providing to the students, that’s why you think capturing a gun from a police officer is a matter of daring.

Anyway, it’s not your fault madam, Katanga. You are a fine policewoman, at least that’s what we think here in Lusaka, so just hang in there and wait for your next transfer.

A CBU student helps a colleague put on police gear during a riot

If there is anyone we should call foolish, it’s the education minister in-charge of universities.

The students had the right to walk away on him while he was delivering a speech.

Michael KAINGU: “The criminal behaviour by students has forced government to close the Copperbelt University and the University of Zambia. Regrettably, the disturbances at the two universities have been driven by known opposition elements seeking to extract political gain out of the on going chaos.”

But it is this same Iris Kaungu’s father who told us that the fellows at CBU are goats; how did he expect goats to listen to his speech?

And as if that is not enough, this minister had the audacity to tell my President that he has locked the universities and throne away the keys.

Mr Kaingu sir, you have two wives and an erotically lucrative daughter to take care of you if those students fire you on August 11, my President only has one jobless wife and a thirsty throat to satisfy – please have a heart!

That’s it for today