Picture this

Agriculture minister Dora Siliya

AND I wonder where Jean Kapata is when my sister Dora is toiling alone with my President.

Thank you my sister for standing up for my President at this critical election period, when Mr Fackwell Shamenda and his fellow ministers are sleeping.

Seriously people, even the so-called mines minister is snoring while the copper prices are swelling.

Wake the hell up Mr Yaluma! Don’t you see that the increased copper prices will allow the mines to start employing voters again? Come on, Mr Honourable minister, Think!

Anyway, tell them my sister.

DORA Siliya: Zambia is in power problems and there is nothing that the President can do. But the fruits of prayer are showing now. The prices of copper have started going up. Yes copper is going up and you will have money to even buy Jameson whisky.”

Exactly! You will have money to even buy… wait, what???

Oh no, my sister, that was a little offside. I wish you asked me. We get your point on the copper prices and more money…bla bla bla! But the whole Jameson whisky thing is not just it.

I mean, we are still trying to convince these opposition fools that my President has never been to your house for a late night party and mentioning Jameson at this stage makes it look like he left a bottle in the bedroom or something, and you came across it and remembered. That was a bad idea.

And one more thing, we can’t afford to chase away Bishop Joe Imakando to UPND like that. I know Bishop Joshua Banda is already in our armpit, and Pope Francis has already endorsed my President, but that Lozi man is the game changer, my sister. He has three church services per Sunday and has countless meetings with voters during the week; he needs to bring his Bread of Life mwamukolo.

So, saying the fruits of prayer have started showing and we shall use the extra money to by Jameson, kind of puts off Bishop Imakando, because he knows God can’t take pleasure in using His answered prayer money to buy Jameson – a Hummer, maybe but not Jameson.

Anyway, my Sister, carry on. You have a President and a party to defend.

DORA: “I want a political party that shows that even me as a woman I can be on top. I want to be in a political party that will put me on top because if it doesn’t, that will be against my education. I went to some good schools, come on!”

That’s right my sister, in fact everyone wants to be on top. Even my President enjoys being on top, no wonder he wants a woman directly under him so that together they can perform for the country.

But just be careful, my sister when you are advising our women on what to do to get on top. These chaps in opposition deliberately picture something else when you are talking.

DORA: “It takes a lot to be a minister. As women, we need to be on top. You have a choice to make, and you can change your life. We just don’t become somebody; IT’S WHAT WE PUT IN THAT MATTERS!” Really? LOL!

That’s it for today

         

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