What does being clingy mean? The desire to spend all their time with their partner, not to let go of them for a single minute, the constant fear of losing them – these are all symptoms of dependence and being clingy. It is possible and necessary to fight it, otherwise, you risk not only damaging your mental health, but also losing someone you love. Learn how to avoid being clingy, and see your love life change for the better.
You need to realize that you are destroying your relationships with these fears. Understand that no one wants to be constantly monitored, jealous of and kept on a short leash. With your dependence on love, you limit the space of your loved one and do not let them breathe to their full extent.
This usually results in them having to:
Lie, thinking up various excuses for themselves when they come home for instance.
Look for opportunities to spend time away from you. It may be hard for them to be beside you constantly when you can turn a romantic dinner into an interrogation.
Think about other potential partners, a relationship with whom will be calm and easy.
In the end, you negate them of their much-needed air to breathe so much that they cannot continue the relationship any further and leave.
You must understand that love addiction and being clingy ruins you. You become suspicious, irritable, jealous, aggressive, and sometimes fall into apathy. The worst thing is that you lose yourself, because you are accustomed to identifying your personality with the person you loved. The concept of “I” was replaced with the concept “We”. Of course, no one argues with the fact that lovers should be very close, but you shouldn’t merge into one. Each person should remain a separate individual that is self-reliant.
In many women’s magazines, you can read tips like “take up some activity that will help you avoid thinking about your beloved, let every minute of your day be busy,” etc. But this only helps one change externally. You can take up dancing, fitness, knitting and acting courses, but during the classes all you will think about is what to tell them about the class in detail, giving them a sense that you are busy. Filling your day with things to kill time or create an image of a busy and independent person in their eyes is meaningless. You most definitely will not make any significant changes to anything, and if you do, only for a short time.
If you suffer from love addiction, it means that you have not found your inner core. By mechanically clogging your day with different tasks, you are unlikely to feel internal changes. It is important that you find something that is really close to you. Metaphorically speaking, you have to feel comfortable sitting at a table for one. If you want to stop being clingy, become engaged in the search for yourself, try to answer questions like “who am I?” and “what should I do in life?”. Learn to immerse yourself in your inner world and explore it. Only then will you be able to enjoy being alone, after which you will become self-sufficient. Understand one important thing: your loved one should complement your life and give you new opportunities for development, but they should not be the meaning of your life, and should not be the center of your universe.
Once you obtain happiness and peace within yourself, learn to be your own support, the painful dependence on a relationship will disappear. You will have new life goals, new desires and aspirations. By understanding how to stop being clingy, only then will love for another person bring you real joy, give strength and energy, not take them.
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