I THOUGHT the grade nine ICT examinations were the worst academic scandal, until I read the LAZ statement on the 10 per cent ZIALE pass rate this year.

George CHISANGA: “This number of lawyers who have passed this year is an exciting project for us. The fact that there is an improvement vindicates us as the Law Association of Zambia because we have always held this viewpoint that if people work hard at ZIALE, it is possible to pass.”

No, Mr Chisanga! If you told 178 students to work hard at school and 160 of them failed the exam, you can’t tell us that you have been vindicated, the word is ‘humiliated’.

Well, maybe you are excited because previously, you have had six students passing ZIALE exams out of 200, but if you ask professor Geoffrey Lungwangwa, he will tell you that a school that records a three percent pass rate repeatedly, needs to be closed down, and it’s teachers sent either to jail or to prison – don’t judge me, I am sure the two words mean different things, otherwise the learned lawyers and judges wouldn’t have created two words to mean the same thing.

Which leads me to the next question, learned senior counsel Chisanga; at what point do you become ‘learned’, before ZIALE or after?

Look fellas, forget the grade nine ICT exams, this is the real scandal right here and I think all the state counsels in this country must be ashamed, because what are they counseling the state about if they can’t counsel Michael Kaingu to address the one to 200 ‘teacher-pupil’ ratio at ZIALE?

Oh! And maybe we shouldn’t have lawyers who are not State Counsels because it makes them look like they passed ZIALE at third attempt – that’s not fair.

That’s why we have soldiers like Staff Sergeant Trywell Katukula trying to kill themselves because some learned attorneys coming out of ZIALE can’t win you a case even if you murdered a mosquito.

In case you are wondering why Staff Sergeant Trywell was chased from the Army, hear it.

Charity KATANGA: “He was discharged from the Army after being convicted for being in possession of 106 rounds of ammunition.”

I don’t want to know which lazy lawyer represented this poor soldier in court, but what I want to know is why was Staff Sergeant Trywell tried in the first place? For being found with bullets? He is a soldier, damn it! And you gave him a gun! That’s why he needed the stupid bullets so that he can put in his gun and shoot the bad people – that’s what you trained him to do, right? So how did he lose such a case?

Look now, the poor guy had to climb a mast and start taking selfies while enjoying full English breakfast up there with bacon, yogurt and mineral water. That tells you that he doesn’t want to die, otherwise he would have climbed at least another five metres up.

Staff Sergeant Trywell was trying to say, ‘the lawyer who lost my case is chewing clients money for nothing’.

Shame on you ZIALE lecturers

That’s it for today