Nindalama za nyoko?

Former Republican President Mr Rupiah Bwezani Banda: File picture

IF you hate Rupiah Banda, then you must have a malfunctioning sense of humour.

And I think in his next life, Mr Rupiah will be a bailiff, because he is such an aggressive debt collector.

RUPIAH Banda: “Yes it’s a true story [that I am asking Cabinet to give me money for the house!] But why would I ask for a reduced amount? The suggestion is not that they give me a reduced amount; I’m entitled to that money. We are saying, there are now four former presidents; I am the fourth and then the existing President, whose houses have not been built. So all we were suggesting is that if building is problematic, then why don’t they calculate how much one house costs, how much is the car, then give us the money we build for ourselves, to our own satisfaction? Then everybody is happy. The government is happy and we are happy.”

Obviously you know, Mr Rupiah, that sindalama zanyoko, but I am not going to tell you that because I understand your frustration. You are the only surviving former Head of State who has no house.

You are like a street kid, with rich kids. The only difference is that, unlike other street kids, your rich kids put other street kids on the street.

My only fear is that, it seems your consultancy services to my President are becoming too damn expensive by the day, and your demands are unbelievable.

You can’t say give me cash if you are failing to build a house, because what’s delaying the house is the fact that there is no cash in the first place.

That is why my President says once he gets tired providing readership, (wink!) he will leave State House and go back to his leader-sip in Chawama compound. LOL!

So, slow down Mr Rupiah and lets move one step at a time. The court case has been sorted, your house will be sorted, your immunity will be sorted – just be a little patient with my President, okay?

But if you think the queue for your retirement benefits is very slow because you are behind women who are too lazy to move (LOL), try joining the queue queue at Pension’s House.

Just remember to pack a pillow and blanket. Depending on your luck, maybe carrying a coffin too wouldn’t be a bad idea.

That’s it for today.

         

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