LETS face it, the Constitution Court works like a condom; it knows that its job is to protect the two individuals, but it can chose to mess up both if they are being rough.

Well, in the condom scenario, the gentle partner ends up paying for the unnecessary aggression of the other, but again, isn’t that how this election petition case will end?

I would have said the only difference is that the ConCourt doesn’t work at night when neighbours have gone to sleep, but did you hear what the ConCourt president said?

Hildah Chibomba: “We only have up to midnight to hear this matter and to conclude with witnesses. We have six and half hours to finish by 23:45. We take about 15 minutes for each witness and no examination-in-chief. We will share the time equitably, unfortunately that’s the Constitution we have. We are all constrained but we have this task and we have to finish.”

My Lady! Firstly I don’t know why I am addressing you as “my lady” when we both know that you are someone else’s lady. Secondly, sorry for putting this on you, but I hear you are the boss.

So madam president, allow me to just call you beautiful Hildah. You wouldn’t take issue with that now, would you? Unless you think I am lying, which is possible coz I haven’t met you before – in which case I will just recuse myself from calling your name.

Anyway madam president, here is my point: You and I know that judges and lawyers are well paid, well respected people who go to work having first eaten a healthy breakfast and some reasonable lunch, in some cases. Now, if you deny such well fed people an opportunity for their digestion system to breath until 23:45, you can’t surely continue referring to such a gathering as a Constitutional Court – that’s a Constipation Court, madam president!

I know your desire is to deliver justice, but exhausting all the time to court proceedings without taking into account your own rights as judges to relax your muscles and breath, amounts to murder by constipation.

Yes, Mr Hakainde Hichilema and my president are testing your elasticity in this matter, which clearly lacks lubrication, but you can’t guarantee them protection at the expense of your own human rights.

In fact, my President is still in power, which makes me wonder why we went to elections in the first place, and he has shown you that he can still fire people at will. If you take away the Jameson from his lips and put a microphone, he can even announce his Cabinet, while this case is still going on – so why are you in a hurry?

Look madam president, after this tiring exercise, whether you like it or not, the ConCourt will remain like used protection – disgraced and no one wants to touch it anymore; but since it’s plastic by nature, it will be recycled and be useful elsewhere.

That’s it for today

Twitter: @jmwenda29
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