by Thomas Mulenga on 22 May 2019by Zondiwe Mbewe on 22 May 2019by Sipilisiwe Ncube on 22 May 2019by Thomas Mulenga on 22 May 2019
- Goal Diggers
by Guest Digger on 22 May 2019by Thomas Mulenga on 22 May 2019by Stuart Lisulo on 22 May 2019by Chibamba Kanyama on 21 May 2019
by Zondiwe Mbewe on 22 May 2019by Diggers Correspondent on 22 May 2019by Mukosha Funga on 22 May 2019by Mukosha Funga on 21 May 2019
- Editor's Choice
by Diggers Reporter on 4 Mar 2019by Andyford Mayele Banda on 29 Jan 2019by Davies Mwila on 22 Jan 2019by Diggers Reporter on 17 Jan 2019
by Diggers Editor on 22 May 2019by Diggers Editor on 21 May 2019by Diggers Editor on 18 May 2019by Diggers Editor on 17 May 2019
by Sampa Kabwela on 18 May 2019by Felix Kashweka on 16 May 2019by Zondiwe Mbewe on 26 Apr 2019by Diggers Correspondent on 23 Apr 2019
- Guest Diggers
by Guest Digger on 22 May 2019by Chibamba Kanyama on 21 May 2019by Dr Munyonzwe Hamalengwa on 19 May 2019by Rueben Lifuka on 16 May 2019
Naked emperorBy Joseph Mwenda on 10 Oct 2016
It wasn’t difficult for me to conclude that the King of Swaziland came in this country wearing nothing but underwear, because the pictures showed me that his top half was as bare as his bottom half, save for the point where the two pieces of loose fabric met.
In fact, it was rather difficult to speculate that he actually had anything at all to cover his private essentials; which I frankly don’t think are private in anyway as they are exposed to an entire village of women with his consent.
Which brings me to a point of understanding. Considering the ‘womanly’ mandate which your country has tasked you with, I am assuming it must be quite cumbersome to keep dressing and undressing, hence your royal decision to keep it simple for everyone’s benefit. That’s cool, literally.
But excuse me Lt. General Paul Mihova; did you really mount a 21-gun salute for this Swazi dude? And he inspected our Zambia Army parade? Dressed like that?
General! That stomach is the most sought after potbelly in Swaziland; do you understand how tormenting it was for our female soldiers on parade to concentrate while inspecting that royal three pack, unwaxed as it was?
And did you hear his speech on arrival?
King MSWATI: “My coming here during this important occasion, is to give solidarity to the Zambia people because Zambia and Swaziland are one.”
Mr King, apart from when you are selecting your Inkhosikati, it seems your judgment is defective. You should have asked my President how many beers ago did Zambia switch to multiparty democracy. How can we be the same?
Anyway, my President doesn’t just do things minus first thinking through them. There must be a very good reason why he asked a monarch to come and tell us the importance of democracy on our Independence Day.
Let’s see, I am thinking maybe he brought King Mswati to come and show that it’s more productive to the nation when you appoint many young women into bed than appointing a tired one as Vice-President.
Or maybe after hearing that my President is making random inclusive appointments to his Cabinet, King Mswati decided to come and lobby for a ministerial job for his justice minister whom he regrets dismissing when he caught him sleeping with his 22-year-old 12th wife.
Whatever the case, one good turn deserves another. Allow me, therefore, to go and ask Mr Kaizer Zulu if he can fix me an appointment with my President so that I can beg to be included on his delegation to the next Reed Dance in Mbabane.
Looking at the logistical requirements needed to secure a presidential meeting at State House, it might be weeks or maybe months before I return, dear readers.
And I don’t know about my President, but if he allows me to join him, Your Royal Majesty, expect me to arrive at your airport wearing nothing but a little piece of rubber, enough only to protect my private essentials when inspecting your guard of honour.
I will be back, maybe.Related Items
- Gunshots fired as KCM liquidator storms Chingola to takeover assets
- Chomba Kaoma reports Kaizer to police for slapping him
- CK vows to prove Mwila hired someone to write his G12 exams
- I didn't believe mum when she said 'hubby' is my brother, incest accused tells court
- Deputy minister positions meant to weaken UPND
- CBU failed to remit K686 million to ZRA, NAPSA in 2017 – Auditor General
- I didn’t believe mum when she said ‘hubby’ is my brother, incest accused tells court
- Lusaka man gets 8 months for hitting wife with pot
- PF political architecture a danger to peace, stability – CSOs
- Gary challenges Sakwiba to name UPND MPs who were texting him at NDF
Subscribe for email alerts
ArchivesJun0 PostsJul0 PostsAug0 PostsSep0 PostsOct0 PostsNov0 PostsDec0 Posts
- May 2019
- April 2019
- March 2019
- February 2019
- January 2019
- December 2018
- November 2018
- October 2018
- September 2018
- August 2018
- July 2018
- June 2018
- May 2018
- April 2018
- March 2018
- February 2018
- January 2018
- December 2017
- November 2017
- October 2017
- September 2017
- August 2017
- July 2017
- June 2017
- May 2017
- April 2017
- March 2017
- February 2017
- January 2017
- December 2016
- November 2016
- October 2016
The News Diggers
Deputy News Editor
Plot No. Lus/9812/649-MC8
off Alex Chola Road
P.O. Box 32147
Telephone or WhatsApp:
diggers [at] diggers [dot] news
editor [at] diggers [dot] news
Send this to a friend