- by Mukosha Funga on 19 Aug 2017by Mukosha Funga on 18 Aug 2017by Sipilisiwe Ncube on 18 Aug 2017by Mirriam Chabala on 17 Aug 2017
- Goal Diggers
- by Mukosha Funga on 18 Aug 2017by Sipilisiwe Ncube on 17 Aug 2017by Diggers Correspondent on 16 Aug 2017by Mukosha Funga on 15 Aug 2017
- by Mukosha Funga on 18 Aug 2017by Diggers Reporter on 18 Aug 2017by Mukosha Funga on 17 Aug 2017by Diggers Correspondent on 16 Aug 2017
- Editor's Choice
- by Joseph Mwenda on 18 Aug 2017by Mukosha Funga on 3 Aug 2017by Diggers Correspondent on 31 Jul 2017by Diggers Correspondent on 30 Jul 2017
- Guest Diggers
- by Sishuwa Sishuwa on 4 Aug 2017by Dr. Vernon J Mwaanga on 25 Jul 2017by David Julian Wightman on 8 Jul 2017by Sishuwa Sishuwa on 6 Jul 2017
Fat fatter fattestBy Joseph Mwenda on 1 Nov 2016
I DON’T think short people are naturally funny, but Dr Phiri wouldn’t have been this interesting if he was an inch taller.
Actually he gets upset sometimes when the master of ceremony asks him to stand and deliver his speech because he doesn’t think there is any much difference whether he is seated or standing.
And you know that thing they say about shot people always fighting to be noticed – Dr Phiri fancies recognition so much that he hates the idea of sitting in a tinted ministerial car where people can’t notice him.
In fact I think if he was tall enough to reach the top, he would have put a sofa on the roof rack of his Prado, apply some Vaseline and let the sun shine on his bald head for other motorists to watch their Honourable minister on the move.
But since he can’t do any of that, specially because you couldn’t still see him if he sank in a sofa, he has resolved to make it sink in you that he is the minister and he shall remain one until the fat man in UPND sings.
Dr John PHIRI: “In case you are wondering what I am doing here at this event after Parliament was dissolved last night, we thank God for the new Constitution of the Republic of Zambia. Whether by mistake or default, it is very clear that cabinet ministers will continue until they hand over to the next group of ministers. So you are stuck with us, whether you like it or not. This is why I came flapping the flag of Zambia to this occasion and I hope that our people understand.”
By the way, sorry if that’s not your picture; you need to understand that it’s hard to distinguish because the only difference between you and Danniel Munkombwe is that he chews with his gums while you like chewing gum.
Otherwise, your arrogance is just as pure as old Munkombwe’s. And if you are lucky, you will also lose all your teeth while still flapping the Republican flag because the fat lady in UPND is singing a wrong fat song.
GBM: “This so-called Chishimba Kambwili, the one who is fat like a pig, is always insulting us. Chishimba Kambwili has accused me that I instructed the government at that time that I should have a military escort. I want to clear this; it was the late Michael Sata who authorised me to use military escort but if I can ask Chishimba Kambwili, from the time I resigned, have I ceased to have an escort? In fact, I have more security personnel than what I had, kakapokola kamo naka soldier kamo. Now I have more than 10. If I want, I will increase the number to 50.”
Well, Mr vice-president, I don’t care if you get the entire Zambia Army to protect your large intestines, but let’s go back on your fat statement again, because unless you use a face powder mirror which doesn’t show the rest of you, I don’t see how you can compare Dr Kambwili’s fatness to a pig.
I am pretty much convinced that you meant to say Kambwili farts like a pig, which makes you look experienced in pig relations.
That’s it for today
Like our Facebook Page
About Joseph Mwenda
Joseph Mwenda is a Zambian journalist experienced in political news writing, photography and video editing.
Email: joseph [at] diggers [dot] news
- Zambians make fun of mandatory HIV testing - 18 Aug 2017
- Tendai Biti regrets fall of Zambia’s democracy - 16 Aug 2017
- They raided my son’s office, not mine – Mulongoti - 15 Aug 2017
- Lungu’s oil exploration launch in legal tumble - 13 Aug 2017
- State to free HH tomorrow, reports Reuters - 13 Aug 2017
Weekly Most Digged
- «August 2017»
- August 2017
- July 2017
- June 2017
- May 2017
- April 2017
- March 2017
- February 2017
- January 2017
- December 2016
- November 2016
- October 2016
The News Diggers
Plot No. Lus/9812/649-MC8
off Alex Chola Road
P.O. Box 32147
Telephone or WhatsApp:
+26-097-7708285, 095-3424603, 096-5815078
diggers [at] diggers [dot] news
editor [at] diggers [dot] news
Send this to a friend