Geoffrey Mwalya Bwamba

UPND vice president GBM

I WOULD have said ZNBC has gone to the dogs, but last time I used that expression, my neighbour’s dog almost circumcised me in protest.

All I said last time was simply that politics has gone to the dogs, after Mumbi Phiri said PF divas are free to move around naked if they want to attract votes because there is no law that dictates dress code in Zambia.

But just like a stubborn comrade doesn’t know that he is stubborn, it seems my neighbour’s dog doesn’t know that it’s a dog, because I have never seen that kind of viciousness before.

No wonder I hate dogs. And to me, a man’s best friend shall remain nothing else but a woman – can all the beautiful women say Amen to that! Of course ugly women also don’t know that they are ugly, so just feel free all ladies and congratulate me on that intimate declaration.

Seriously, I really don’t know why my neighbour’s dog took issue with me because I think I had a point. I mean, Mumbi Phiri was supposed to discourage our beautiful women from campaigning with their buttocks, not encouraging them to move around naked.

See fellow voters, I don’t have a problem with Mumbi Phiri walking around with her naked buttocks, if she wants to lead by example, but my issue is my President’s integrity.

If Mumbi Phiri is allowing PF girls to paint their buttocks in green with sontapo and all sorts of PF slogans, what is she saying about the crookedeness of my President’s wrinkled finger, or whatever he was using to point when launching this sontapo slogan?

It just doesn’t show respect, and people will start to wonder whether my President regards this round and soft development as the main achievement that his exceptionally HARD working central administration has scored. LOL.

But of course we don’t expect Mumbi Phiri to apologise for her remarks. Same story with ZNBC; when I was growing up, ZNBC newscasters would apologise to viewers if they sneezed while reading the bulletin. But you won’t believe what has become of the national broadcaster today.

That beautiful TV presenter called Claudette Sindaza had the audacity of reading the honourable incoming vice-president’s name as “Geoffrey Mwalya Bwamba” and went on to shamelessly read the rest of the news like a poet on steroids – no apology whatsoever!

I understand they have even changed the abbreviations to “Zambia National Biased Coverage TV” now, but this kind of malicious attack on a defenceless opposition leader does not only show that sanity is far from returning to ZNBC, but also exposes what my beloved Claudette must have been doing before going on set to read the news that early morning.

Anyway, since dogs can’t allow us to say that it has gone to the dogs, we shall just say ZNBC has gone to Mumbi Phiri’s buttocks.

At least I am assured that her buttocks won’t attempt to circumcise me, like my neighbour’s dog did, but if she tries to, I shall stand my ground and sontapo with a firm finger.

That’s it for today

Twitter: @jmwenda29
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