Safety niwemwine

GOOD morning Dr Roland Msiska? I was wondering if you are aware that someone in your office used a Cabinet stamp and issued a circular, ordering citizens in the country to suspend all activities of entertainment nature on October 18.

I know you had nothing to do with it and there was no way you could have made such a silly decision when my President had made it very clear that this prayer day is optional.

Anyway, in this era of government leakages, it will be years before you figure out which government official sneaked into your office to embarrass Cabinet Office in this manner, so just forget it.

And by the way doc, this same national day of prayer, repentance and fasting has attracted so much interest.

But there is only one problem – the prayer requests for this special day are so jumbled up and I don’t know, in which order of importance, Cabinet Office will arrange them.

Let me give you examples.
Charles MILUPI: “On October 18, we will pray for the PF to leave power. We shall intercede to God so that He gives us proper leadership and take out the PF.

Newton MALWA: “As Rainbow, we feel that on October 18, Zambians should be asking God for forgiveness for putting the PF in government. We are praying and repenting for making the mistake of voting Edgar Lungu into power.”

Reverend Alfred KALEMBO: “The council of Churches in Zambia is wondering what people will be praying for on October 18. Our details are that we should include repentance against corruption, tribalism and nepotism. This will also mean identifying those who have stolen and deprived the poor of their basic sustenance that they restore what they took.”

Christopher MULENGA: “Mr Speaker sir, as PF, we feel the UPND will contaminate the October 18 national prayer and fasting day. It is good that President Edgar Lungu did not invite the UPND to attend. So, we shall go ahead without their presence to pray and ask for God’s guidance.”

Hakainde HICHILEMA: “The PF government is making terrible mistakes by choosing to seek God, because even God is very upset with what they have done to this country. Instead, people should pray to God, on that day, so that this country can be delivered from the evils committed by the PF.”

Eric CHANDA: “You tell the Zambian people that as we go for prayers on the 18th of October they should also ask Jehovah God to tie comrade Chishimba Kambwili’s lips. What comes out of his mouth is not leadership and our prayer will be that, let God pump some little wisdom in his little brain to stop these threats and warnings on people.”

Okay let me make just one confession here before I proceed. You see, comrade Eric Chanda, it’s good you have cleared the air over who has a small brain between you and comrade Kambwili. When I looked at your party symbol sometime in January, believe you me, I was absolutely convinced that you, comrade Chanda actually had half the size of comrade Kambwili’s brain. But you see, that’s why dialogue is important – now we know.

Anyway, as if that was not enough confusion for one prayer day, Nason Msoni had to drag my President in the mess.
I don’t know his political party, if he has one, but here is his concern:

“President Lungu himself on that day of prayer will be very satisfied because his officers will give him food and his favorite brandy, while asking everyone else in the country to be fasting.”

My President here is my advice; in every society there are sadist like Msoni who delight in other people’s misery.

You have not hidden the fact that you suffer from Achalasia, and low blood sugar.

What Msoni wants is that when you collapse again, they will abandon you and say the Holy Ghost fire has touched your soul. Hell to the no my President. If your narrowing food pipe can still take nine or 10 mangoes on that day, don’t hesitate – safety kuisunga wemwine!

That’s it for today

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