Vibrant Action

Agriculture minister Dora Siliya

THE only other person who is right apart from Dora Siliya this week is the news editor at the national broadcaster.

Dora reminded Vernon Mwaanga how he got permanent ear damage from a comprehensive beating by UPND youths because of his miscalculated political judgment. Which is a good thing because I think VJ needs to be told to shut his rusty mouth when it comes to rigging elections in this country.

But that was Dora; meanwhile, the news editor at the national broadcaster, in a clever way, is asking why we should waste time and money holding elections this year, when the outcome is already in black and white or from my point of view, in blue with a green label.

ZNBC: “Thirteen opposition political parties have endorsed President Edgar Lungu’s candidature in the August 11th General elections. The thirteen political parties who have formed an alliance say they want President Lungu to continue with the development projects he is rolling out in the country.”

You see? My President is so hot going into this election that he will be selling like a scented condom among ordinary ones.

I am not making this up, thirteen political parties ladies and gentlemen. If you don’t believe me or the Dead-End BC editor, hear it from Beston Ng’onga from “Sometimes of Zambia”.

Times of Zambia: “The 13 political parties that have endorsed President Lungu include Zambia Direct Democracy Movement (ZDDM), Christian Democratic Party (CDP), Zambia Development Conference (ZDC), New Congress Party (NCP), National Party (NP), Citizen Democratic Party (CDP). Others are Party for Unity, Democracy and Development (PUDD), Humanity Party, United Party For Democracy and Development (UPDD), National Democratic Party (NDP), Common Cause Democracy (CCDP), All People’s Congress (APC) and People’s Redemption Party.”

That’s my President, what about you Mr Hakainde Hichilema, what do you have? Because according to my President these political parties mean landslide. Anyway Mr HH, try again in 2021, this one is done and dusted. Maybe then you will start making sense to my sister Dora.

You see fellow voters; I love my sister Dora because she is vibrant. In fact, I think that’s why my President loves her too, because when she means to be vibrant (wink), she gives it to you as it is.

Dora SILIYA: “I have been hearing about a sensational matter about Dora and tribalism. What is even laughable is VJ accusing me that I am in Eastern Province as a tribalist. I recall VJ being livid when he was given a thorough beating by UPND during late Mazoka’s funeral, resulting in permanent ear damage, do you recall why he was beaten? The UPND cadres beat VJ because they said he was a sellout. Why? UPND cadres wondered how VJ, a Tonga, could not support UPND. But here is my dilemma. How can VJ whose whole adult political life has been outside UPND today begin to accuse others of tribalism?”

Look fellas, I know my sister sounds stupid with this, because the only thing she has succeeded to do is to prove to us how VJ has never been a tribalist, but have you seen how she cleverly connected the permanent ear damage to the issue just to get her jab on old man’s jaw?

She only made one mistake though.

SILIYA: “I find VJ strange because he must even be the last person to talk about election rigging in this country because when you google ‘rigging in Zambia’, Vernon Mwaanga comes up, if you google ‘Vernon Mwaanga’, rigging comes up.”

Well, you see my sister, the truth about Google is that it gives you the results you want to see. And if we believe everything Google says, we will never have peace in this country.

Imagine if we google “Zambian Jameson” do you know what results we will get? Or if we try “Bottom Power in Zambia…”

That’s it for today

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