THE TITLE of this article may not sound nice to everyone, especially in these difficult times when jobs are hard to come by and universities and colleges are churning out more graduates than what businesses can employ. As this column is about home and family, being a jobless husband is not a very good subject to table. However, it’s a stubborn fact that there are lots of men who find themselves without a job and they still havea family to look after. Being jobless, however, does not make one less of a man or husband. In fact, it may be an opportunity for you to prove what you’re made of.
For our discussion today, let’s look at a husband who loses his job but the wife remains in employment. In our African traditions the man is considered the breadwinner and in situations where he’s unemployed the marriage or/and the family could be affected negatively in some ways. Not only that, the man himself may lose self-esteem and may miss out on some social functions due to lack of disposable income. In worst case scenarios, the wife may start to look down on the husband, a situation that could make the man to suffer emotionally and may even lead to depression.
What a good wife should do.
No man chooses to be without a job. Even in cases where the man loses employment for any wrong reasons, a good wife needs to stand by her husband and support him through the difficult times. To bad-mouth the father of your children simply because he’s out of work (and sometimes temporarily,) is the worst thing a woman could do to someone you vowed to live with in ‘sickness and in health.’ If your finances can allow, make your husband as comfortable as possible such that no one could even notice that he’s unemployed. Show him love and affection to keep his spirits high. Lift him up in prayers and encourage him that things will one day be alright.
Sometimes relatives and outsiders may want to poke in your marriage simply because the man is unemployed. So keep your relatives and outsiders out of your marriage. Sometimes people want to pass judgment even on matters that do not concern them; don’t allow that. If you go to the same church, let him drop your tithe envelope in the offering basket. God is ever watching.
What to do when you’re jobless.
Being unemployed is not the end of the road. Remain hopeful as you look for another opening or as you consider starting a business. There’s always the second half in the game of football or, in fact, in any life game. Life is a game, but that’s a topic for another day.
Sit down with your family and consider trimming down your expenditure. If you have house-help or maid, why not sending her/him on leave for the time being?
Many of us are used to earning a monthly salary but starting a business is one of way supplementing your wife’s income and, who knows, you might just realize that you have a knack for business and you may never want to work for another person again!
While times are hard and business opportunities may appear limited, it is, however, possible that astute individuals can exploit these difficult times to come out with some very ingenious business ideas that could change your life forever. And I believe you’re one of those smart individuals who could not continue to cry over spilt milk, but instead rise above the occasion and be counted – once again.
Looking for employment after losing your previous job is still a good idea. After all, you can bank on your previous experience to convince prospective employers that you can make a difference in their organization if they hired you.
Losing employment is a reality we should all live with. It is, however, important that while you’re still on your company’s pay roll, you learn to do some business that could bring you some extra income during those rainy days. It’s this kind of business that can sustain you when the chips are down and the family needs you as always.
There’re several business that one can do to make ends meet. Dealing in food is one such and also building materials these day are on high demand. Running a small roadside kiosk near home isn’t a bad idea either. I’d hasten to say business has its own ups and down as success is not often guaranteed. But determination pays off.
So we can conclude by saying that losing employment is a fact many men face. But it’s not the end of the game. However, one needs the support of the wife and the whole family to pull through. Cheer up.
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One Response
Good article! Many men are hopeless and feel hopeless.PRIDE and laziness are Zambian men’s ernemy number one.We want to maintain the same standard of living, even when we know that the month end pay cheque has vanished! We can’t tolerate being seen walking, pushing a wheelbarrow,or even cycling! “Where will those who know us put us?” Status is more important to these people! Even if it means cheating and pretending through out their lives.At the moment, there are massive resources and opportunities awaiting exploitation in Zambia.Who supplies rabbit meat in chain shops?All these are opportunities,Thank you!