OVER the years that I have facilitated a parenting program to prevent HIV/AIDS, we have often ask the question, ‘What are some of the causes of rape or child sexual abuse?’ And one of the answers that parents offer is, “Akazi benangu si bavala bwino” (Some women don’t dress properly). Arguably this statement is shared by many and it may have some substance. For example, a Lusaka man was distracted by a skimpy dressed woman and drove his car into a ditch. Certainly no man could be distracted by a woman unless she’s indecently dressed. I don’t care what you say, but I know that men are easily distracted by women who dress seductively. We get triggered just by the sheer shape of a woman’s body, pardon me for now.
Proper and improper dressing. Well, I don’t know what proper dressing is for women, but I sure do know what improper dressing is. It’s wearing a net-like fabric that shows your breasts and vagina because you think the Iris muscles dilates the pupil for more light to enter the eye. It’s not about losing an election here, forget it!
Want to know more about improper dressing? It’s a plump woman forcing herself into an expendable jean trousers that prints out a capital V between her thighs. It’s wearing a bare-back dress in public transport and expect call boys to respect you. It’s wearing a sleeve-less blouse and raise your hand to answer a question in a board meeting. It’s all that which made that Lusaka man lose control of his car and found himself in a ditch.
Alas! And churches are not spared. Sometimes you are carried away at the female preacher’s dressing and forget about the sermon she’s preaching. Don’t forget that looking at a woman lustfully is sin.
Where is Alangizi? Where have we thrown our moral barometer that we should now be using social media to show off our nudity? Why are we as Zambians so hell bent on imitating foreign customs and dress codes? Who has bewitched us?
What’s wrong with a woman wearing a full length dress with a head covering? Look at our women in the Middle East, they dress very well. Which is why I wish I was born in Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia where there are policemen who check out for women to dress properly. May be my Iris muscles would not dilate the pupil to make me see what I hate to see.
A woman’s body parts are so special that they should not be seen anyhow. Not even the body printouts should be used to tempt men to lose concentration on the road. Any valuable treasure is usually kept under lock and key. So it should be with the body of a woman. Actually a man wants to dig deeper to unearth what is inside a woman. I don’t know if there’s a man who would want to marry a woman who exposes her body to any fella on the streets.
Of course no man has the right to force himself on a woman because she’s dressed seductively. But don’t you know that a lighted bulb attracts night flies? Mind you, it’s the Iris muscle which dilates to allow in more light for the eye to see. Ok we end here for now about the Iris.
When we try to answer the question of dressing and rape cases, we tell parents that men should have self-control as not to force themselves on any woman they think is not properly dressed. But equally we need to tell our women to have self-control in choosing what to wear, at least in public.
If we don’t change, our children will grow up not knowing what decency is. But God forbid that we lose our morality all in the name of freedom of expression and modernity.
Sorry I haven’t been very polite today, but understand that I’m genuinely concerned because I don’t want our children to grow up with a devalued sense of their body. Actually I care about women and I want them to dress modestly.See you in paradise.
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