For a 40-year-old Zambian man, Cliff was doing fine with his self-built business. He was a bread winner and ensured all his young siblings were in college and his mother was well taken care of. His wife’s family was not left behind as he chipped in whenever they needed help. He always provided transport and food for funerals and ensured whoever was hospitalized was well taken care of. As he reflected on the wealth he had built, he realized heaven had been gracious with him because he started small but was now competing with big money lending companies on the market. The cars he drove would make you look twice in admiration and yet he was still just that humble guy who faithfully attended Sunday service and gave tithes and offerings. It had been three years since he was diagnosed with diabetes and he never strictly followed the new diet rules. He had now reached a point where he was injecting insulin. As he sat in the doctor’s office, he realized the need to strictly adhere to the health rules and follow a strict diet, this was due to the fact that his sexual prowess had really gone down. He was now feeling less of a man and the wound on his ankle was not healing. He had reached a point where he could only wear slippers due to the wound on his ankle and trousers were uncomfortable as they would touch his sore and were getting messed with pus. So apart from slippers, he also had no choice but to wear shorts which became a trademark of his.
The wound on Cliff’s ankle was now getting worse and painful to a point where he forgot that he had bedroom issues to deal with. It was now stinking and bleeding all the time and you could clearly see the bone through the eaten-up flesh. The doctors were recommending amputation to preserve and prevent further infection moving up to his upper leg. The thought of being cut was depressing but he was putting up a brave face to his family and friends. In the night when everything was still and quiet, tears could roll down his cheeks and he was reflecting on how he was failing as a husband as he had been struggling with erections and now the thought of having only one functional leg. As he was waiting for his due date for the hospital operation, he noticed his other leg had also developed a similar sore which was deteriorating rapidly. When he went back to the hospital, it was recommended that both legs be cut. This news of having both legs cut was what sent Cliff into a depression. It was as if someone was shoving him into a pool of water to drown and breathing became hard and painful for him and that is when he lost the will to live.
Tabitha at 45 could not understand what was happening to her body. Whenever it was cold, all her bones hurt. It was as it her bones were not a part of her and wanted to be ejected from her body. Sometimes it was her hip joints and sometimes the pain would move to her arms or fingers. When the pain was in her hips, she could hardly move and after some months, the pain moved to her knee. For a while, she could not move and after various medical examinations, she was informed she had rheumatoid arthritis. Before the medical diagnosis, Tabitha had tried prayers from different men of God who had their own theories. Others were telling her it was jealousy people from her workplace while others were saying her illness was caused by her husband’s ex-girlfriend. She could no longer wear heels or short outfits, her knee was swollen on most days and she now had to use crutches to walk. She was depressed on most days as she was never comfortable in pumps or flat shoes. She felt less a lady.
Beatrice woke up one day and she could not see anything when she opened her eyes. She thought it was a nightmare which wasn’t ending. As a nurse, she knew that her sight was slowly failing just as her doctor had predicted and she was constantly having to change her spectacles to stronger lenses. Her worst fears had come true, how was she going to cope as a blind person. Was this the end of her career? What about her children? Her marriage? Her whole life? She never imagined life without sight. This was the beginning of a depression that nobody could understand. It didn’t take long for her to lose weight and interest in living.
One day you are okay and the next you are not; this can be due to a chronic disease or an injury and the activities you used to do you are no longer able to. Disability especially attained in adulthood from an injury or disease usually leads to depression. Depression is a mental health disorder that involves feelings of sadness or hopelessness and can make one experience fatigue, pain, loss of appetite, digestive problems, forgetfulness, or increased feelings of suicide. Insomnia is also common while others tend to sleep excessively. While depression can be triggered by disability, or illness, such as losing mobility or having a part of one’s body cut off, depression will make the condition one is going through to become worse.
People who have had major health challenges that leave them incapacitated have worked hard to achieve their dream career and acquiring a disability that no longer allows them to work in their job takes away life’s meaning especially when they are bread winners. For example, a surgeon or sportsman who is involved in a car accident and loses the use of his arms, or a musician who loses his vocal ability can experience depression as their self-esteem really diminishes when they are not able to do what they used to for a living. The quality of life often decreases as it leaves one with few opportunities to interact with others. People who are depressed due to health challenges often are short tempered and family needs to be accommodative and understanding.
Depressive symptoms can take long to show in some people while they are quickly detected in others. Depression is usually treated with a combination of talk therapy, lifestyle changes and in some cases anti-depressant medications. Therapy addresses the need for new expectations, allowing someone to feel less stress and anxiety about meeting previous expectations.
Seek help when in need, visit a counsellor near you!
About the author
Aka Monde, is a licensed Professional Counsellor who holds a Master of Science in Counselling from the University of Zambia. She believes in the adage “a problem shared, is a problem half solved.” Speak to your pastor, church elder, elderly family member or see a professional counsellor when in need.
Email: [email protected]
One Response
Thank you Aka Monde. Your ideas are educative