WHILE I was away trying to seek audience with my President to discuss his nude Swazi friend, I discovered that he has become so religious and so romantic at the same time.
In other words, my President has become so romantically religious or lets just say he has become religiously romantic; but I will tell you all about the romantic part tomorrow.
Today, I thought of appreciating the appreciation from you.
Sidney MULALA: “Congratulations on your excellent column you have titled “Social Trends” which I would not miss for the world. I will maintain my daily and faithful purchase of The Newspaper – whatever the price.” (How about this, Mr Sidney; Go to ZRA and ask for Mr Msiska, you won’t miss him, he’s a little chubby with nerd glasses, find him, give him K10 then come here and get your copy of The Newspaper. That way, you will have saved him the trouble of coming here twice a day to collect our sales. It seems he is the only Berlin who is so damn broke – his namesake out there has enough to even feed Syrian Refugees!)
Matthew SAKALA: “This is just to commend you for your work on Social Trends). Your column brightens my weekdays, and kind of make me forget about the challenges that we are having in our country. Thinking too much about what’s going on may actually reduce your lifespan. (Don’t worry aSakala, this problem of lifespan is global, LOL)
J. SIASAMBA: “Just read your column and I was shocked by the interpretation of the halo around the sun. The PF are saying God answered their prayers. A lot of well-read people fell for the mob psychology and were singing songs of praise for their leader. Anyway, after the prayers, the kwacha lost value… what more can you say?” (Well sir, you can say that again!)
Kenneth MUZATA: “You have become my dearly column. U should know I am buying the post on this comic trend but real to Zambia. Sometimes when the newspaper is bad, this column amends it.” (Okay, so you look at it as The Newspaper Amendment Bill 2015, right? Cool!)
KASONGO Chrispin: “Mr, you are breaking my ribs with your smart wit: What is in your head kanshi man?” (I don’t know man, but what I know is that I am not the only one breaking your ribs, maybe you are just hungry – check your kutometre).
Moses KABWATHA: “I like your style and always look forward to the next copy of your newspaper. Social Trends is provocatively funny, witty and thoughtfully put out. Is it possible to have a larger column?” (Don’t be fooled Moses, this crap is not everybody’s cup of tea; check this one below)
THOMAS Wid tweeted: “@jmwenda29, your column is total rubbish, deranged thinking full of nonsense which a first time reader cannot understand. And you call that satire?” (Maybe not, but let’s just be clear on one thing sir; could it be that your name is Weed but you couldn’t spell it correctly for obvious herbal reasons? Coz it makes a lot of sense!)
That’s it for today