MY only piece of advice to you Dr Christine Kaseba is, don’t you dare invite Chishimba Kambwili to your running mate party because right now he is choking with envy and shame.

I DIDN’T go for the funeral because I hate that part when someone has to stand up in church and explain the cause of death.

SINCE Mr Elias Chipimo doesn’t smoke weed, I can only assume that he announced his decision to withdraw from the 2016 presidential race under the influence of madstupidiosis.

IT remains a mystery where this bullet came from, but one thing that is clear is that two gunshots were fired in the air at Chrismar and one of them is still missing.

BECAUSE My President walks the talk, he made sure that immediately after announcing the Ministry of Religious Punching, members of the host church get the very first blessing, or should I say the very fist blessing.

AQUELLOS que nunca han visitado México pensarán Antonio es estúpida.

F it was my sister Dora Siliya squeezing my President’s love pimple, or caressing his whiskers in public, you would have heard the haters yapping.

FIRSTLY I would like to apologise to Mr Kaizer Zulu on behalf of all his critics.

ROSES are red, violets are blue. If he was busy on Valentine’s Day, the side chick is you!

THIS is the same arrogance that got Mutembo Nchito in a tiny smelly cell in Chongwe and if you continue acting funny, madam Lillian Siyunyi, instead of acting DPP, you will end up worse.