Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate love, connection, and intimacy. But for many living with diabetes, these aspects of relationships can feel distant, misunderstood, or even strained. Diabetes doesn’t just affect blood sugar—it impacts physical and emotional intimacy, self-esteem, and even how people navigate relationships. Yet, because it’s rarely discussed, many don’t realize how it’s influencing their love lives, leading to frustration, shame, and unnecessary misunderstandings.

It’s time to break the silence and talk about how diabetes is affecting intimacy.

Diabetes and the Hidden Struggles of Sexual Health
Diabetes can cause nerve damage and poor circulation, which directly impact sexual function. For men, erectile dysfunction (ED) is a major concern, affecting up to 75% of diabetic men at some point in their lives. This happens because high blood sugar damages blood vessels and nerves essential for achieving and maintaining an erection. Many men struggle in silence, feeling embarrassed or ashamed, often assuming they’re losing interest.

For women, diabetes can cause vaginal dryness, painful intercourse and reduced libido. The same nerve damage that affects blood flow to the hands, feet, and eyes can also reduce sensation in those lady parts. Diabetes-related hormonal imbalances can also lower sexual desire.

Another issue that many women face but don’t talk about is recurring yeast infections. Because high blood sugar creates the perfect environment for yeast to thrive, women with diabetes are at higher risk of these infections. Unfortunately, in relationships, some partners misinterpret this as a sign of infidelity, when in reality, it’s a direct symptom of uncontrolled blood sugar levels.

Without awareness, these physical challenges can create emotional distance. When partners don’t understand what’s happening, they might assume the problem is in the relationship itself, leading to resentment, frustration, or feelings of rejection.

The Emotional Side of Diabetes: Fear, Shame, and Isolation
While diabetes affects physical intimacy, it also takes an emotional toll. Many people with diabetes fear that their condition makes them “damaged goods” or less desirable. This fear can keep them from pursuing relationships or opening up to their partners about their struggles.

In some cases, individuals with diabetes withdraw from intimacy altogether—not because they don’t want to connect, but because they are anxious about their body’s changes, embarrassed about their difficulties, or afraid of disappointing their partner. This emotional withdrawal can be mistaken for disinterest, leading to unnecessary heartbreak.

Partners who don’t understand diabetes-related intimacy challenges might assume that their loved one has lost interest or is seeking intimacy elsewhere. Without open conversations, this can create deep mistrust and resentment in relationships.

This doesn’t just affect couples—it affects entire communities. Families may not know how to support a loved one with diabetes. Friends may not understand why someone pulls away from social interactions. The stigma around diabetes makes it even harder to talk about these struggles, creating unnecessary loneliness and misunderstanding.

Why We Need to Talk About This
Sexual health is still a taboo topic in many cultures, and diabetes is often seen only as a dietary issue rather than a condition that affects overall well-being—including relationships. The combination of these taboos means that too many people suffer in silence, struggling with issues that could be managed with the right knowledge and support.
Talking openly about diabetes and its impact on intimacy is crucial. When we normalize these conversations, we can:
• Reduce shame and stigma for those experiencing sexual dysfunction.
• Help couples navigate challenges with understanding rather than blame.
• Encourage people to seek medical help for issues that are treatable.
• Foster stronger emotional connections by making space for vulnerability.

How to Rebuild Intimacy and Connection
For those struggling with diabetes-related intimacy issues, there is hope. Strong relationships aren’t just built on physical intimacy—they thrive on emotional closeness, trust, and support. Here are some ways to navigate these challenges:
1. Communicate Openly: If diabetes is affecting your intimacy, talk about it. Explain how it’s impacting you physically and emotionally. If you’re a partner, listen with patience and without judgment.
2. Manage Blood Sugar Levels: Keeping blood sugar stable can reduce symptoms like ED, vaginal dryness, and yeast infections. Work with a healthcare provider to find a management plan that supports overall health and well-being.
3. Seek Medical Advice: Erectile dysfunction, low libido, and recurring infections aren’t just personal issues—they are medical ones. Speak to a doctor about treatment options. Many people don’t realize that solutions exist, from medications to lifestyle changes.
4. Break the Stigma: If we don’t talk about these issues, the stigma remains. Encourage discussions in safe spaces—within families, healthcare settings, and community groups—to help normalize the challenges people face.
5. Support Each Other: Diabetes can be isolating, but partners, family, and friends can make a difference by offering emotional support and practical help, like encouraging doctor visits or helping to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Call to Action: What You Can Do Today
1. Get your blood sugar checked. Many people have diabetes or prediabetes and don’t know it. Early detection can prevent complications.
2. Recognize the signs. If you or your partner is experiencing recurring yeast infections, low libido, or erectile dysfunction, don’t ignore it — check your blood sugar and talk to a doctor.
3. Have honest, vulnerable conversations. Whether with your partner, family, or doctor, talking about diabetes-related challenges can reduce shame and improve relationships.
4. Prioritize diabetes management. Diet, exercise, and medication can make a significant difference in both physical and emotional well-being.
5. Encourage awareness. Share information, support loved ones, and help break the silence around diabetes and intimacy.

Diabetes doesn’t just impact the body—it affects relationships, emotional well-being, and intimacy. The more we talk about it, the less shame and stigma people will carry. This Valentine’s Day, let’s commit to fostering open conversations, stronger connections, and better health for ourselves and our loved ones.
Breaking the silence is the first step to healing and loving healthily. Let’s start today.

(Kaajal Vaghela is a wellness entrepreneur, sportswear designer, and diabetes health consultant with over three decades of lived experience managing Type 1 diabetes. As the chairperson of the Lusaka branch of the Diabetes Association of Zambia, she is a passionate advocate for breaking down myths and building awareness about diabetes. For more information, check out: www.kaajalvaghela.com and for any feedback: [email protected])