Chileshe Magande was getting ready for her marriage and hence attending lessons offered by elderly women known as apungu or alangizi (marriage counsellors). She was excited for her upcoming wedding and was looking forward to be addressed as Mrs. Moonga. Her fiancée, Nalumino Moonga had a lozi mother and Tonga father. Chileshe on her mothers’ side was Bemba and Tonga on her father’s side but did not know much of the Bemba culture as her mother died when she was quite young and was raised by a stepmother who was Luvale, hence she spoke fluent Tonga and Luvale. She did understand Bemba having gone to university on the Copperbelt where she met her fiancée. Now that she was getting married, her relatives from her biological mother were invited for the marriage discussions and they decided to take up the task of getting her ready for marriage, hence insisting she learns her biological mother’s Bemba culture in the marriage lessons. Chileshe, having been raised by a Luvale woman, knew the Luvale culture well, including the dances. She now had to learn the Bemba ways within a space of 4 months and also the Lozi norms as her in-laws had demanded they wanted to see before the kitchen party or wedding, what it was she had been taught and demanded also that the lessons must incorporate the Lozi culture. Luckily, her Luvale mother stepped in with the Lozi cultural lessons. It was a bit confusing for her to differentiate the dances but her tutors were helpful and by the time it was her chezela night, she was a well baked woman ready to showcase her dancing skills, the Bemba, Lozi, Luvale and Tonga ways, and everyone who attended the chezela was well pleased, especially her in-laws.

Chileshe’s story is not one that is different from many of us, I personally have nieces and nephews who have Tonga, Namwanga, Chewa, Bemba, Toka-Leya blood due to inter-marriages. These are children who do not speak Lozi but carry the Kalabo names proudly. Coming to think of it, I only have one Lozi friend while the rest of my close friends are Bemba, Ngoni and Tumbuka. For the Tongas, they are my friends by default (sorry cousins, I love you as much as I love your chibwantu).

Tribalism is the possession of an identity that divides a member of one group from members of another group and this identity can be based on residence, religion, ethnic background, occupation, income level, gender, age etc. People often seek approval and comfort from a group they identify with. Tribalism is loyalty to one’s own people as well as culture and it can apply to politics. Tribalism can breed inequality even impacting life and death as it does not seem bad from afar when people favour their “own.” People tend to want to belong to groups as they are social beings and once they do, their identities become powerfully bound to the group even when there is nothing to gain financially and they can kill or die for their group.

Tribe is inherited at birth without choice and gives a great sense of belonging but bad tribalism is when identity fosters bullying and scapegoating or blaming of other tribes. The unfortunate thing is that bad tribalism is easy to provoke but not healthy to maintain.

Most of us are aware of the genocide that occurred in other African countries due to tribalism and hate speech and this was fuelled by media feeds, hence we are to guard our media space jealously to continue enjoying the love and harmony that our country has been enjoying as one Zambia, one nation.

Our goal as a nation is to look at each other as humans before we align ourselves to any tribe and have empathy for all. There is need for government to have a deliberate policy of ensuring our school going children appreciate the importance of all the different cultures our country has. For example, in the beginning of the year when the Ngonis have their N’cwala celebrations, all school going children, regardless of the province, take part in showcasing the Ngoni culture and as other cultural celebrations such as Kuomboka, Umutomboko, Likumbi lya Mize, fall in the various months, the same is done in all the provinces so that our diverse culture is taught to all especially the young.

Another deliberate policy that can ban individuals to stand for public office if they have been convicted of having used hate speech that borders on tribal remarks could deter individuals who are in a habit of bringing disunity in our country. Politicians must put their energy to ensuring good governance, transparency and accountability. Let them address challenges we are facing as a society by coming up with policies that prioritize job creations, poverty reduction and social protection programmes. They can also take a leaf from our chiefs who embrace all that dwell in their vicinity.

We need to remember that no one chooses their tribe at birth, hence we all need to accept and tolerate each other and embrace our diverse rich cultures. Diversity does not mean enmity, diversity can mean variety and life is best experienced when there is variety, imagine the Bemba dance, the Lozi dance, Luvale dance, Tonga dance, the Easterners with the unique dancing skills, bringing beauty in diversity. We have a choice to make as individuals on how to behave towards others and that has a fundamental impact in our country and the world at large.

As Zambians, we are a peaceful country that is full of good relations; as the cousin of my cousin is also my cousin, so politicians, allow us to enjoy our “cousinship.”

And if you know that as a politician, you are fond of using the “Tribal tag and hate speech” when it best suits you, shame on you!

Seek help when in need, visit a counsellor near you!

About the author

Aka Monde, is a licensed Professional Counsellor who holds a Master of Science in Counselling from the University of Zambia. She believes in the adage “a problem shared, is a problem half solved.” Speak to your pastor, church elder, elderly family member or see a professional counsellor when in need.

Email: [email protected]