THE installation of Henry Kanyanta Sosala as Paramount chief Chitimukulu and the colourful Ukusefywa Pang’wena, like every other big ceremony, exposed some disappointing facts. Some spectators felt the Paramount chief should have been shown real respect by making him ride a live crocodile or at least a dead one, rather than exposing his lack of guts by letting him pose around on a wooden statue of the creature.

Chief MADZIMAWE on Facebook: “Wakwela pa ng’wena yakufwa mwine lubemba (The ruler of Bembaland is riding a dead crocodile). Well, as mbuyas, we are offering to host next year’s Ukusefya pang’wena on Luangwa river were there are live crocodiles so that ikawame.”

You see, GOGO Madzimawe is a daredevil chief. So if you intent to invite him to your traditional ceremony make sure it’s not short of thrilling moments.

He is used to having a real adrenaline rush because during the Nc’wala ceremony, he leads a group of fully grown Impis in demonstrating how spear wielding Ngoni hunters kill wild animals before the Inkosi yama Nkosi.

Their Assegai (short stubbing spear) are so lethal that a lion or any other wild animal can’t survive its thrust. So to show Mpezeni how brave he is, chief Madzimawe together with his men, tie a five weeks old calf to a tree and start stabbing it from a safe distance until it’s too weak to
stand.

Once it collapses to the ground, one of the brave hunters, with the largest machete that hands can manufacture, rushes to slit the throat of the dying little helpless calf and shouts, ‘Ngwenya Ngwenyama! Ngwenya Mpakati’ (I think it means, lets now braai this meet, because it was very difficult to kill.)

But I hope you are not laughing at GoGo Madzimawe and his men because these men from the East are truly wise.

Don’t be fooled by taking their gruesome actions on a domesticated animal as a sign of weakness.

Unlike overzealous American hunters, Ngoni warriors stick to cows and goats because you never know who owns the wild lion in the nearby bush.

The whole world today has united as one to condemn a dentist who killed Cecil the lion in Matebeleland and not a word for the murderer of a Zimbabwean nurse in UK three days ago.

What a world we live in.

Anyway, that’s it for today.